A Nightmare On Samityville Street

Short Review: 'Tony' (2009)

2012-01-27T20:29:00.003+11:00

It would appear there is something profoundly attractive to many filmmakers with regard to true crime incidents. As we all know, the media often serves as a significant point of inspiration for many creative minds, particularly when a sensationalistic story infiltrates the public zeitgeist and becomes something more than just a series of attention-grabbing headlines. Consequently, much like a fictionalized novel has the ability to inspire faithful artistic adaption, unlawful acts committed by human beings in reality continue to bestow an inherent allure for those looking to manifest them in narrative storytelling.

While a definite point of contention for conservative minds, nowhere can this practice be better observed than in the serial killer film. Morally precarious, dramatically risky and often downright dangerous, these notoriously niche films have simultaneously provided movie goers with undeniable classics (eg, Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, Zodiac, etc) as well as positively horrific bombs (anything directed by Ulli Lommel) and strangely remain one of cinema’s most profitable sub-genres to this day. In many ways comparable to the crimes of Dennis Nilsen, serial slayer biopic Tony depicts a life gone horribly awry in a small London suburb and a search for meaning and hope in the face of disillusion.

Tony (Peter Ferdinando) is a loner, a social outcast living on the fringes of human association. He lives by himself in a dingy apartment block located in an underprivileged suburb of London, riddled with crime and unsavory types wandering the streets at all hours. Unemployable and introverted to the extreme, he spends his time mulling over action films from the 1980s on VHS and spooling through pornography in the hope of filling some undefined void. Despite his best efforts to connect with the outside world, he continually winds up being the talking point of ridicule and is often ignored by almost everyone around him, including members of the same sex. However, unbeknownst to many, Tony possesses an inherent penchant for violence and moonlights as a serial killer, luring his victims under false pretenses of socialization before snuffing them out either with an electric cord, a bed pillow or a rusty hammer.

There is no discernible story or act structure embedded within Tony, as the film functions more as a temporary insight into the habitual activities of a methodical killer and the results endured upon those who fall by his hand. First time director Gerard Johnson is careful to keep the viewer at a consistent arm’s length from the films' central character, allowing for an interesting torment of moralistic identification to emerge and brew throughout the proceedings. Are we meant to sympathize with Tony? Is he a product of a failed society or simply a monster by birth? Ambiguities with regard to Tony’s past – more specifically his upbringing - are intentionally withheld in order to further obscure the psychological mysteries lurking beneath the madness, thus painting a more complex portrait of a deteriorating mind. Needless to say, lead actor Peter Ferdinando is exceptional in the title role.

And it is precisely this steadfast refusal to provide easy answers that makes Tony the powerful film it is. Johnson could have easily taken the convenient rout and populated the film with characters quick to pass judgement upon Tony but instead the beautifully nuanced performances from the supporting cast are kept as objective as possible. From Tony’s employment officer and television license inspector to the prostitutes and porno shop clerks he encounters, every external character serves a specific dramatic purpose with regard to his interaction (or lack thereof) with the world around him, the landscape of which is hopelessly nihilistic and unrelentingly grim.

It also must be said that films like Tony certainly aren’t for everyone, much less those quick to condemn films’ that deal in such subject matter. Many filmmakers tend to pigeonhole real life criminals into a confined demographic of social exile perpetuated by obscurity when professional investigation continues to reveal a reality more tragic and sad than anything out of a murder mystery novel. WARNING: you may be repelled by this film but you may also be endlessly intrigued…and disturbed.

Dir: Gerard Johnson
Writer: Gerard Johnson
Cast: Peter Ferdinando, Frank Boyce, Lorenzo Camporese, Cyrus Desir
Country: UK
Run Time: 72mins
Rating: MA15+

New DR Review: 'The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer'

2012-01-25T08:32:00.003+11:00

Morning, cretins!

The horrors of real life receive a closer inspection in my latest review for Digital Retribution. Made for the price of a rice crispy treat, little known TV film The Secret Life: Jeffrey Dahmer is one of the most unique introspectives into the mind of a serial killer you're ever likely to see, not to mention one of the most unrelentingly grim.

They don't make em' like this bad boy anymore.

CLICK HERE to read the write up.

Short Review: 'Road Train' (2010)

2012-01-18T14:59:00.010+11:00

There have been several Australian genre films made over the years that have depicted the country as a place to fear. Whether it be the camping grounds and oceans of Long Weekend, the barren landscapes of the Northern Territory in Wolf Creek or the secluded mangrove seas of small town villages in Black Water, there has scarcely been a single aspect of the continent’s renowned environment left unscathed and/or unexploited for the worst possible reasons. Either there are more cynical local screenwriters out there than we think or Australia really is the land of the damned.

One avenue of the country’s backdrop to be recently revisited (taking into account Richard Franklin’s Road Games from 1981) is the wide-open highway and its endless milieu of desolate wilderness. Fusing elements of the former, Spielberg’s Duel and even The Twilight Zone this modestly budgeted debut from young filmmaker Dean Francis has all the right talent in place and yet somehow fumbles the ball in almost every way imaginable until its guts are literally strewn across the highway.

Traveling cross country for a camping trip are four twenty-somethings: Craig (Bob Morely), Liz (Georgina Haig), Marcus (Xavier Samuel) and Nina (Sophie Lowe), all of whom share an awkward truth of infidelity among one other but have nonetheless managed to remain friends. During their trek across the deserts of the outback they come into contact with a rather hostile operator of a semi-trailer (or “road train” to those hip folks out there) who in turn inspires Craig to recklessly pursue the vehicle, resulting in the group crashing their car off the side of the road. With their Jeep a total write off and no help in sight the group attempt to find salvation, that is until the road train itself continues toying with the youths, luring them under its powers with a mysterious mystical attraction that begins permeating not only their rationalism but also their sanity...

The first thing you’re bound to notice about Road Train is its impressively handsome visuals. Regardless of budgetary constraints, few Aussie genre films put in the time and effort to look good, however Francis and cinematographer Carl Robertson completely re-write the book in this regard by making every frame of the movie count. Be it scenes of action, quieter character moments or simply the capturing of featured landscapes, the film never fails to lose grip of its hawk eye composure.

Unfortunately, almost everything else about Road Train from here on out is beyond the pale of watchable (believe me, I wish that were an exaggeration). After the first fifteen minutes have elapsed and the youths have begun their desperate search for help, screenwriter Clive Hopkins wastes no time shoehorning in so many unnecessarily convoluted plot developments and absurd story tangents that the movie immediately loses all sense of direction and focus, making viewer compliance nigh impossible. Furthermore, not one character makes a decision that would fall under the umbrella of common sense, nor do they at any time appear to have any idea as to what the hell is going on around them – much like the viewer! – therefore one’s willingness to empathize with their plight never comes into consideration for a second.

Are we meant to be so confused? Is the trajectory of bizarre events intended to boggle the mind into complete disorientation? Granted, this is a supernatural horror film but robbing your audience of any and all narrative comprehension – a basic requirement of any storytelling – is a fatal move at best.

Stupefaction of Road Train is further intensified through several instances of stilted, embarrassing performances, the majority of which never feel confident enough to ground the film in any semblance of reality. With the exception of Xavier Samuel the rest of the supports spend much of their screen time stumbling around in a haze, only occasionally delivering the goods during moments of extreme duress. Moreover, by the time the final act comes rolling in and character’s lives are that their most vulnerable the movie has already alienated its audience so much for the conclusion to have any impact at all.

Perhaps the biggest culprit behind the ultimate failure of Road Train is its insistence in trying to catch the audience off guard. Ironically, in doing so they somehow managed to create one of the most frustratingly bewildering horror movies to ever come out of the local genre scene. My only hope is that Francis can get a hold of a sharper script come his next fright venture, as his obvious flair for visual storytelling desperately calls for something more adept than this nonsense.

Dir: Dean Francis
Writer: Clive Hopkins
Cast: Bob Morely, Georgina Haig, Xavier Samuel, Sophie Lowe
Country: Australia
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: MA15+

Short Review: 'Penance' (2009)

2012-01-17T16:12:00.010+11:00

As we all know, the recently popular term ‘torture porn’ has become something of a staple in contemporary horror film criticism. Sometimes misrepresented and unfairly attributed, the supposed sub-genre was arguably spawned with the release of Eli Roth’s Hostel back in 2005 and took swift flight thereafter, inspiring many low budget filmmakers to push the boundaries of accepted screen violence, especially with regard to what the multiplex will tolerate. Needless to say, with human suffering being its primary driving force this breed of fright fare can be either genuinely compelling or woefully uninspiring.

And what better underground environment to set a torture film than in the world of a stripper? A match made in exploitation heaven, right? While low-budget indie Penance may initially appear to be classic drive-in fare it gradually morphs into something far more intriguing and challenging to the senses, advancing ideas about gender, morality and sexuality most films of this type never dare to press past the treatment page.

Amelia (Marieh Delfino) is a desperate single monster struggling to pay for her young daughter's life-threatening health afflictions. Running out of options and in dire need of money she reaches out to her friend Suzie, a professional stripper, who coaxes her into doing a few shows of her own in order to raise funds. When she reluctantly accepts a high-paying job for a questionable client, Amelia is kidnapped and brought back to an undisclosed abandoned hospital where she meets pseudo-preacher (and former surgeon) Geeves (Graham McTavish) who in turn informs her of her 'impurity' and propensity for 'sinful behavior'. Trapped, tortured and facing an impending fate, Amelia is forced to fight her way out...or become but another emasculated victim.

One of the most effective angles taken on by director Jake Kennedy with Penance is the POV perspective. The film begins somewhat unassumingly as a video confessional with Amelia speaking directly to a handheld camera (operated by a close friend), the intention of which to have it serve as a record of her efforts to earn money. As the story progresses and she becomes more and more entangled within a world beyond her control, the camera never leaves her side and remains a constant point of surveillance throughout her ordeal, forever a reminder of her intention to document. While at first appearing as a cheap gimmick (i.e., found footage), Kennedy quickly turns your expectations ninety degrees to the left by using the roaming camera as a crucial tool in bringing you deeper and more uncomfortably into the mindset of the antagonists.

Within the framing of this style (both figuratively and literally) is the screenplay’s introduction of a moral power play between its hero and villain. Geeves (an impressively powerful performance by McTavish) is a self-professed messenger of ‘God’, put on this earth to ‘purify’ those women whom he perceives as unclean and worthy of damnation, whilst Amelia (an equally courageous turn by Delfino) is merely a victim of circumstance, initially driven to avenge her maltreatment out of self defense. However, when Amelia comes to understand the greater picture behind Geeves’s rhetoric she eventually takes it upon herself to represent all those persecuted by him, thus delivering her own hand of righteous retribution in the name of her fellow female captives.

What’s particularly interesting about the finale is Kennedy’s refusal to take the easy rout; Amelia could have easily dethroned her aggressors through sexual mutilation or another symbolic method of physical punishment but instead she conjures up something far more unexpected and psychologically lasting, thus exemplifying their pitiful existence. Still, there remains a significant exploitational angle to Penance, so let’s just say onscreen bloodshed is by no means in short supply.

A far more ambitious film than his previous zombie feature debut Days of Darkness, Jake Kennedy proves with Penance that he is a serious filmmaker with genuine talent and an understanding of the importance of transgressive subject matter within genre cinema. More importantly, the film rises above most torture porn fare by making a serious attempt to deal with greater ideas as opposed to a mere fixation upon the systematic degradation of the human form. While it may prove a little too nihilistic for the casual viewer, horror fans seeking something with a harder dramatic edge could do a lot worse than this gritty ball buster.

Dir: Jake Kennedy
Writer: Jake Kennedy
Cast: Marieh Delfino, Graham McTavish, Michael Rooker, Alice Amter
Country: USA
Run Time: 85mins
Rating: R18+

Short Review: 'Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!' (2006)

2012-01-13T02:09:00.010+11:00

There is a certain mean-spiritedness sorely missing from today’s breed of exploitation movies. Almost everything exhibited on 42^nd street during the 70s and 80s and later released on VHS prided itself with grisly nihilism and gloomy cynicism, rarely allowing audiences the chance to breathe a sigh of relief or run to the bathroom to upchuck their popcorn and soda. As much as today’s fan boys sincerely try to recreate this bygone sentiment very few succeed, instead delivering pale imitations of more defined sleazy favorites.

But just when you thought these movies were something of a dead art form, a demented little title comes along that reaffirms the notion that a light of inspiration as sordid as the films it spawns is still very much alive in the hearts of a wicked few. While by no means a display of filmmaking perfection, director Chad Ferrin’s fiendish Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! exhibits a level of ugliness and twisted dementia that is near pitch perfect for this type of bizzarro cinema.

Mindy (Charlotte Marie) is a struggling single mother living with her mentally retarded son, Nicholas (Ricardo Gray) in a dilapidated, barely renovated home. One day Rhemington (Timothy Muskatell), a slimy grifter from off the street, charms Mindy into becoming her new love interest despite constant disapproval from Nicholas, whom is almost immediately ridiculed and abused by the new man of the house on a regular basis. Moreover, the only comfort the young boy gets is in confiding with his new pet rabbit. One night when Mindy is a work, Rhemington hits the town and returns home with a duo of hookers and his pedophilic buddy Ray (David Z. Stamp), only to find the house completely empty with no sign of Nicholas. Little do they know a killer lurks in the shadows, intent on delivering systematic justice…in a bunny mask no less!

Ferrin is clearly a fan of cinematic grime and slime. The manner in which he tirelessly infuses his film with a sensibility so vile and nasty is nothing short of striking, especially considering the ultra-low budget means at his disposal. Once again this is by no means a condemnation, in fact much the opposite, as Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! looks and sounds as if it were shot on an old 8mm camcorder, ingested via an AV connection and exported onto a BETAMAX tape, resulting in one of the most authentically scum-encrusted exploitation movies of the last ten years. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Furthermore, the films' unbridled repulsiveness is enhanced by Ferrin’s spot-on casting of Muskatell as the heinous, misogynistic stepfather of sorts. From the moment he slithers onto the screen the film immediately garners an even stronger sense of maniacal insanity as Muskatell delivers his lines with both tongue-in-cheek narcissism and unrestrained vulgarity, overpowering almost any supporting player that enters the frame with him. Gray is also hilariously shameless, if not a little over the top, providing the audience with even more reason to feel awkward and uneasy.

Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! also delivers the grisly goods in a particularly sadistic DIY fashion come the final act. The murderous rodent of the title uses a wide array of household appliances and ornaments to dispose of his/her victims including hammers, circular saws, broom handles and much more, all with bloody abandon and horrific finesse. The kills are also rather skillfully shot and edited, consisting of short, sharp bursts of brutality and brute force that make each thug’s demise appropriately jarring to the eyes and ears. Interestingly, the film is rarely gratuitous in its presentation of violence.

Despite some sluggish pacing and a slight over reliance on its singular location to tell the entire story, Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! retains a special level of nostalgic malevolence you simply don’t get at your local multiplex, or most chain video stores for that matter. While it may be tough for some to stomach, those more accustomed to having their DVD player infested with glorious grime are almost guaranteed to find something of garish delight in this wonderfully tasteless little abomination.

Dir: Chad Ferrin
Writer: Chad Ferrin
Cast: Timothy Muskatell, Charlotte Marie, Richardo Gray, David Z. Stamp
Country: USA
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: R18+

Short Review: 'Bikini Girls On Ice' (2009)

2012-01-11T13:19:00.010+11:00

The digital filmmaking revolution has exploded in the last decade to a point almost unforeseen by those who predicted its unveiling. With everybody and their kid brother picking up a high definition camcorder and shooting their mini masterpieces, the home video market has had to sweep its shelves in order to accommodate for an influx of low-budget titles so frequent in their production it would appear to be easier for an unknown filmmaker to land a distribution deal than a Hollywood bigwig. Supply and demand to the extreme.

No genre has been more privy to this movement than horror, with a slew of micro-priced epics hitting DVD almost every week…and then some. A perfect example of this relatively recent wave is Canadian-made slasher Bikini Girls On Ice, a bare bones body count flick sporting easily one of the best titles to come out of the sub-genre since 2000’s Sandy Hook Lingerie Party Massacre.

The film sets itself up quickly and without hesitation: a female collage football team is holding a fundraising bikini car wash and plans to transport all its participants via shuttle bus. Not long after taking off their transport breaks down just outside a seemingly abandoned gas station and, given the circumstances, the gals decide to hold an impromptu carwash in the parking lot. As low business and boredom set in, an unidentified maniac in a filthy jumpsuit starts picking off the young nubiles one-by-one - and putting them on ice! Who will survive and what will be left defrosted?

A self-confessed slasher movie aficionado, stalker flicks are by far my all time favorite breed of horror film. There’s something so simple and primal about the very raison-d’etre of sub-genre; an unfiltered exercise in pure tension and unadulterated sex and violence, all served up within a familiar formula easily digestible for the depraved degenerate in all of us. And while to some it may appear to be the poor-man’s excuse for a horror film, slasher films are in fact one of the most difficult to pull off and have leave a lasting impression, particularly when made for the teen crowd.

However, it pains me to say that regardless of its awesome title, Bikini Girls On Ice is not one of these films. Having said this, it’s not the worst of its kind either; the direction is capable, the girls are worthwhile eye candy and there is indeed a bathtub filled with ice featured more than once. Unfortunately, that’s where much of the positives end and the detriments begin. Director Geoff Klein and co-screenwriter Jeff Ross rarely bother to break established conventions, instead settling for a ho-hum structure that is at times painfully predictable and just plain lazy, not to mention the inclusion of a killer with no discernable MO. There are also some serious pacing problems come the second act when the characters spend a good thirty minutes or so meandering back and forth about how to best save themselves from their predicament, bringing the film to a screeching halt. I don’t know about you but a sex scene or two could have easily passed the time.

Which brings us to perhaps the most baffling point of all: the films’ surprising lack of both T&A and bloodshed. Surely by choosing to name your film after an item of women’s swimwear and the suggestion that those who adorn it will be horrifically slaughtered would prompt one to stack the bricks with bare flesh and entrails, no? As it stands, Bikini Girls On Ice features just ONE sex scene and ONE onscreen death. That’s it. Aside from a pretty nifty throat slashing all we get is the occasional smattering of blood on a wall or nothing at all. For a movie largely devoid of anything exciting in the suspense department the least Klein and co could have done would be to have amused the audience with a few grotesque kills and an extra boob or three.

Terrible performances, stunted plotting and minimal exploitation aside, you could do a lot worse than Bikini Girls On Ice. Regardless of its failings I still retain a soft spot for films like these, even if the majority of them aren’t exactly worth the price of a rental in the first place. However, if you were to grab a few buddies, a pizza and beers this low-budget cheese fest is almost guaranteed to entertain for its slim eighty-two minutes of screen time.

Dir: Geoff Klein
Writer: Jeff Ross and Geoff Klein
Cast: Cindel Chartrand, Danielle Doetsch, William Jarand, Suzi Lorraine
Country: Canada
Run Time: 82mins
Rating: MA15+

Short Review: 'Paintball' (2009)

2012-01-06T01:38:00.014+11:00

Sport - mankind’s favourite pastime. A communal gathering of human beings with a competitive interest to prove one’s strategic and physical prowess at a given activity until a definitive victor is declared.

Murder - mankind’s most primal method of survival. An inner instinct possessed, however repressed, but called upon in order to overcome an external aggressor intent on imposing a threat to one’s life.

Granted I could be insane, but if you contemplate it for a moment these two common human practices are actually not that dissimilar from one another, at least in their outcome. By way of some twisted need to overwhelm one another with our capacity for complete dominance and control lies a fascination with the idea of antagonism; something seemingly inherent within the mind of modern man. After all, the expression ‘hunting for sport’ can’t simply be a coincidence.

Case in point: Paintball, a relatively low budget effort from Spain that situates an unsuspecting group of buddies out for a day of acrylic gunfire only to be mysteriously targeted by an unidentified player who’s only intention is to kill the opposing team members one-by-bloody-one. We also learn the slaughter is being feed live via monitors to a nameless association of onlookers watching from the safety of an underground bunker, supposedly somewhere near by and out of harm’s way. Will sole survivor Anna (Jennifer Matter) be able to defend herself against a covert operation of suited psychos or perish in a pool of entrails like so many of her other ill-fated friends?

Based on its goofy yet potentially brilliant scenario, Paintball has the makings of being a terrific satire; a blackly comedic critique of the self-indulgent and absurd nature of simulated violence and the allure it has toward those looking to engage with it without actually getting their hands dirty. And while there are minor shades of social commentary evident during a handful of moments throughout the film, director Daniel Benmayor and screenwriter Mario Schoendorff never actively take advantage of the goldmine upon which they sit, instead opting for a more straightforward B-movie approach that simply winds up feeling underwhelming at best.

Equally frustrating is the film’s visual aesthetic, unnecessarily split into two distinct sections. The opening third is dominated by nauseatingly handheld cinematography that teeters on the edge of being virtually unwatchable (I could feel my baked dinner spinning circles in my stomach) while the second and third acts revert to a far more controlled, studio-orientated style when the slaughter takes to the indoors. Benmayor also employs a number of point of view gimmicks from ‘the hunter’s perspective, such as the NV goggles, security camera footage and several other clumsy devices that end up doing more to interfere with the action than enhance it. While a noble stylistic choice in theory, the transition is far too jarring to go unnoticed and hinders the films’ chances of highlighting what are otherwise competent action set pieces.

Furthermore, Paintball makes itself known early on as a survivalist horror thriller, a film predicated on its ‘what if’ scenario. However, if you’re able to get two dimensions out of these characters consider yourself a humanitarian; each player in the game is so non-descript and faceless that one could swear the movie went into production with no cast auditions whatsoever. It’s clear the filmmaker’s didn’t care much for their pawns so why should we?

It’s not hard to see that a better movie lies somewhere within Paintball. Sure, as a no brainer pseudo-slasher flick it works perfectly fine but the overriding feeling that it could have been something far more pervades heavily in the mind until the final player is extinguished. Wishful thinking? Maybe. I just know there’s more to sport than friendly contact.

Dir: Daniel Benmayor
Writer: Mario Schoendorff
Cast: Brenden Mackey, Jennifer Matter, Patrick Regis, Iaione Perez
Country: Spain
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: MA15+

New DR Review: 'Colin'

2012-01-05T23:36:00.004+11:00

Evening, cretins!

The undead continue to walk the earth in my latest review for Digital Retribution, although this time we're privy to the apocalypse not through the eyes of those struggling to fend off the ghouls but rather through one of those doing the gut chomping!

Intrigued? Follow the link below to read my full review of great little micro-budget zombie flick Colin and you'll see just how far $75 and a well worth of creativity can get you.

CLICK HERE!

Short Review: 'The Tunnel' (2011)

2012-01-04T18:47:00.021+11:00

The notion that the cinema as we know it may indeed be flickering its last frames is certainly a disconcerting notion to address. Whether by fault of its own or a result of external factors, the film industry has long carried a chip on its shoulder with regard to ever diminishing box office sales and the increasingly persistent attitude on behalf of many audiences to shun their local theater in favor of alternate/illegal methods of movie consumption. Unless a solution is introduced in due time studios, filmmakers, critics and fans will simply continue to quibble back and forth about how to best rectify the situation so that both a healthy stream of financial returns are seen as well as a sustainable platform through which to view old, new and upcoming product.

Luckily, there are several filmmakers out there who are trying their darndest to reinvent the way in which the public are able to access movies whilst still maintaining a legitimate cash flow to investors. Shot in 14 days for approximately $36,000, The Tunnel has the illustrious honor of being one of the industry's first 'crowd-funded' films - a movie whose entire production budget is garnered by selling yet-to-be-shot frames of film to its intended audience. An innovative proposal to be sure, director Carlo Ledesma also managed to turn in a genuinely unsettling horror flick in the process, a feat rarely achieved for any genre film produced with such radically limited means.

The story is simple: the subway tunnels of Sydney, Australia are under serious scrutiny after rumours of a government cover up emerge in the media involving potential homeless civilians using the subterranean channels as shelter from the outside world. In an attempt to give credence to the story, a journalist (Bel Delia) and her production crew (Steve Davis, Luke Arnold) decide to delve into the underground with the hope of capturing the truth behind the sensational claims. However, it quickly becomes apparent those living beneath the asphalt are far from neglected locals...

Although at first it may appear to be horribly derivative, The Tunnel stands firmly apart in the ‘found footage’ sub-genre for refusing to conform to expectations and the amateur shock tactics that make so many other shaky-cam movies so frustratingly unimaginative. Structured and played out as if it were a legitimate documentary - or even a current affairs television segment – the film is skillfully assembled using confessional interviews, news camera footage, security camera footage and the occasional archival material from fictitious tabloid stories to create the impression of a genuine event having taken place and the profound repercussions it has since had on those associated with it. However, unlike many faux documentaries with a similar foundation, director Carlo Ledesma successfully manages to downplay the sensationalism of the subject matter so that it never comes across as cheap, prime time exploitation; reiterating the notion that subtly is by far the more effective approach given the films’ elected format.

Equally integral to the films’ success are the terrific dual performances from Delia and Davis, two actors who deliver the crucial verisimilitude the story needs in order to sell the magic trick. Nuanced, restrained and perfectly understated, both actors display an acute awareness of the austere mood established early on and follow through with it until the tragic events of the finale. Had these roles been miscast we would have an entirely different film indeed.

Of course, when the crew finally makes their descent into the subterranean depths and the lights begin to dim, that’s when the real atmosphere surrounding The Tunnel creeps its way along the spine. Technically, the cinematography and the amount of imagery we’re exposed to is kept beautifully suggestive and ominous throughout; the one-man camera coverage is plentiful but also evocative enough to have you squinting your eyes into the shadows in anticipation of horrors unseen. As the situation faced by the team becomes more and more desperate and tempers being in to rise, Ledesma makes sure to keep the frame just off balance, adding to the feelings of discomfort and disorientation experienced by the crew's impending nightmare. The unpredictability of the environment also plays heavily into the scares with every grimy passageway and disused burrow leading deeper into the unknown. In the end this is not a film comprised of cheap shocks and 1000 decibel audio blasts; these filmmakers who know how to treat their audience with respect.

Shortcomings in the script department and occasional lapses in logic can be easily forgiven in a film as effective as The Tunnel because its mind and heart are irrefutably in the right place. These and other like minded indie horror efforts are the kinds of movies genre fans should be supporting, particularly in the face of a market struggling to preserve its future. Do yourself a favor and cough up a buck or two for a cast and crew truly deserving of their efforts. Oh, and in case you haven’t guessed the movie is damn creepy as well.

Dir: Carlo Ledesma
Writers: Enzo Tedeschi and Julian Harvey
Cast: Bel Delia, Steve Davis, Luke Arnold, Andy Rodoreda
Country: Australia
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: M15+

Dressing for the Bordello

2011-12-31T14:52:00.006+11:00

Afternoon, cretins!

Us horror peeps love our t-shirts. Something of a given dress code for many, horror tees can serve as an immediate indicator to fellow fright fans of one's preferred fright favs or simply as an awesome garment for public eyes. Either way, we all have our fare share of nightmarish knitting.

One of the best shirt companies making a name for itself in the genre scene is T-Shirt Bordello. These guys specialize in highly tongue-in-cheek designs that ape cult films, video games and other pop culture paraphernalia, all of which are served up with a good natured winking to those who adore their subject matter. Whether you're a fan of They Live, Silence of he Lambs, Coffin Joe, H.P Lovecraft or even The Overlook Hotel, T-Shirt Bordello have a design to satisfy your inner nerd and make it shine.

Check out their entire horror selection HERE

For more information and online purchases, visit www.tshirtbordello.com

Samityville's Worst Films of 2011!

2011-12-30T18:49:00.009+11:00

Evening, cretins!

And now I preset to you...the unfortunate ones. While 2011 may have provided genre fans with a number of choice nightmares it also vomited out more than its fare share of cinematic no-nos, several of which were nigh unwatchable to say the least. But what is a fan if they can't take a few for the team...so to speak?

Read on if you care...

5. Scream 4

The horror landscape has seen a lot of changes in the last decade. As with the original, screenwriter Kevin Williamson saw an opportunity to satirize the current genre climate, however for a series that was so much a product of its time he clearly ran into problems when retro-fitting the same formula to the present day. Obnoxious, tedious and relentlessly silly, this infuriating sequel was so aggressively ‘meta’ in its presentation and context to the point that Craven and co. completely forgot to make an intriguing murder-mystery. Furthermore, the pairing of the aging original cast with a group of annoying 20-somethings was awkward at best, giving way to an overwhelming feeling that no one involved really wanted to be there in the first place. And don’t even get me started on that ending...

4. Season of the Witch

Nicolas Cage: cinema’s most atypical star. For an actor who is clearly in the tax-debt-repaying phase of his career he sure knows how to draw a crowd. Regardless of how bad audiences figured the film was going to be (and it was BAD) they still showed up to threw down the green in a masochistic hope that somehow it would provide ninety minutes of quality entertainment. For all the dreadful performances, horrid CGI and laughable historics it was the overriding impression of weariness and tiresome theatrics that ultimately sank this pseudo-horror period piece, demonstrating once again that no matter how ‘name’ your cast is, a turd can never be polished.

3. The Roommate

We all know the movie biz has a knack for recycling its own material but this little number literally redefined the term ‘cookie cutter’. Shamelessly aping the entire plot line of Single White Female, the sheer lack of innovation on display throughout Christian E. Christiansen’s snore-inducing teeny bopper psycho yarn was almost unbearable, so much so that the cinema I saw this in put the young couple in front of me to sleep after the first forty-five minutes! I completely understand the fact the film really wasn’t designed for my generation but surely Sony Screen Gems could have afforded to inject at least some legitimate drama into this otherwise flaccid claptrap? No? I should have known.

2. The Rite

There must be a crisis of faith going on in Hollywood these days. The amount of religious-themed horror movies released in the last two years or so would suggest that either audiences really dig it when God wins or that there’s some secretive push spearheaded by the right wing to convince all agnostics that science is the weaker excuse. However, when all was said and done nothing could justify the existence of this cinema-induced coma. Devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever (unless you consider a sleepwalking Anthony Hopkins fun), the smug arrogance with which this film carried itself was at times astonishing, leading me to believe I was in fact merely watching an onslaught of blatant Christian propaganda disguised as a genre movie. What’s worse, the estimated budget spent was over $37 million (!) On what? Hopkin’s cassock?

1. My Soul To Take

It’s a sad state of affairs when two Wes Craven films feature on a ‘worst of’ list. For the man behind some of the genre’s most revered and respected classics it’s almost impossible to comprehend how a filmmaker of such talent could have lost his way so completely…that is unless you were brazen enough to endure this incomprehensible mess of a film. Where does one even begin to describe the cinematic conniption that was My Soul To Take? A completely nonsensical plot, detestable characters (were we actually meant to care about Bug?), internal logic that changed every ten minutes and one of the most ludicrous villains his side of Dr Evil. Ultimately though, it is the utter ineptitude of Craven’s screenplay that causes the most bewilderment. Did anybody read it before signing on? Oh, and who’s bright idea was it to post-convert this to 3-D just a few months before its American theatrical release (it went direct-to-video here in Oz)? I guess they thought it would help the movie’s success. Guess what: it didn’t.

What say you, cretins?

Samityville's Best Films of 2011!

2011-12-28T20:55:00.019+11:00

Evening, cretins!

Well, another year in horror has passed us by with a vengeance...and what a year it was. Alongside the usual spate of remakes and sequels/prequels flooding the market we were privy to a significant and very public resurgence of the ratings board - both locally and internationally - and the increasing power it continues to wield over filmmakers and their productions. Almost everywhere you turned the fright community was discussing the censorial crackdown on A Serbian Film and Human Centipede 2, movies that in their own right made a very conscious decision to provoke and challenge the limits of cinema transgression but were nonetheless valid artistic expressions regardless of how you chose to interpret them. Fans were also struck by the death of several renowned genre icons, in particular director Ken Russell (Altered States) and actor David Hess (The Last House on the Left), two creative forces that will never be forgotten.

On a lighter note, twas also a year for some awesome sinema as well! What was worth seeing, you ask? Read on to find out...

10. Stake Land

Vampires, vampires and more vampires. By the turn of 2011 one would have thought the horror genre had seen just about enough sharp-toothed bloodsucker epics to last out the rest of the century (at least the sparkling kind) and beyond. However, when you have an intelligent script, a solid cast and a strong vision leading the way, anything is possible. This beautifully sombre, post-apocalyptic saga of survival set amid a crippling population threatened by nocturnal exsanguinators provided a much-needed fresh take on a severely worn-out scenario and proved intricate, intelligent and reverent enough to never take the easy way out whilst still delivering the grisly goods. Fan favourite Danielle Harris also took advantage of the opportunity to finally spread her acting wings in a role that both challenged and emphasized her unique range. A low budget highlight.

9. Kidnapped

Technically a home invasion thriller, this ultra-violent Spanish effort managed to mold itself firmly enough within horror conventions to fall under he banner of fright fare, and what a frightening ordeal it was. Never one to concern itself with plot intricacies, overly complex characters or even subtle subtext, Kidnapped is a straightforward, take-no-prisoners story of one family’s unrelenting nightmare at the hands of three masked intruders – and it worked perfectly. Kudo’s also goes to director Miguel Angel Vivas and crew for staging arguably the most nihilistic ending of the year.

8. Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Any genre fan will tell you a great horror/comedy is something of a rarity, however director Eli Craig most certainly concocted one of the finest we've seen in a long, long time. Although somewhat of a one-note flick, Tucker and Dale vs Evil was a hilarious hillbilly comedy of errors-set that delivered every conceivable promise in spades, all punctuated with a slapstick smack of silliness that helped along the absurdity of the scenario. The chemistry between Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine was more than a treat to watch and worked seamlessly in tandem with the supporting cast of hapless nublies being chopped up into wood chips. Energetic, clever and consistently amusing, this one is bound to be a favorite at drunken movie nights for years to come.

7. Best Worst Movie

Lauded at film festivals for months before its limited theatrical release, this truly awesome documentary detailing the unlikely story behind Troll 2 – a film considered by the greater majority as the worst ever made – turned out to be everything a fanboy could have dreamt for and more. Something of a labour of love for almost four years, the films’ real-life star Michael Stevenson managed to capture a portrait of misguided filmmaking and the unintended legacy it continues to leave behind that is so honest and unfiltered in its presentation you couldn’t help but be swept up by it every step of the way. Hilarious, fascinating, sad and strangely moving, Best Worst Movie achieved the impossible: infusing its subject matter with a tongue-in-cheek sensibility whilst always treating the infamous film and its fans with complete respect and admiration.

6. Red State

A lot has been said about Kevin Smith over the years. For a filmmaker so outspoken toward his critics he certainly has a knack for witty responses, so much so that on the surface his political horror story Red State appeared to be a reactionary statement to all those who have condemned him. Luckily, this was not the case and the resulting film stands confidently on its own two legs. Situating a bunch of horny go-getters as captives to a fundamental Christian sect in the deep south, Smith took what could have been a fairly predictable scenario and wildly turned it on its head by introducing an array of offbeat characters, effective black humor and a number of genuinely suspenseful and bloody set pieces worthy of his more action-oriented contemporaries. Michael Parks is particularly attention grabbing in a stellar performance as the films’ psychotic preacher, as is the always-reliable John Goodman as a federal employee tasked with taking him down.

5. A Serbian Film

What more can be said about this film that hasn’t already been said? Widely banned, internationally protested and even a victim of criminal prosecution, almost very effort to prevent the release of A Serbian Film acted as a draw card for further audience curiosity. Whether or not you bought into the filmmaker’s insistence of the story’s sociopolitical context one had to agree it remained a strikingly made cinematic nightmare that, from the get-go, constructed a world of sleaze and sordidness so palpable that when things turned murderous it only made the ensuing emotional devastation all the more disturbing. In many ways the film is the closest this generation is likely to get to Pier Paolo Pasolini’s Salo and unlikely to be equaled for some time to come. While replay value may not be its strong point, the sheer impact incurred from a single viewing is enough to instil a lifetime’s worth of effectively unsettling imagery you won’t soon forget.

4. I Spit On Your Grave (remake)

The chance of a remake making any ‘best of’ list is slim to nothing, especially considering the fact that Hollywood seems to have entirely missed the point behind so many of the genre titles they’ve recreated over the last eight years. Naturally, I too was ready to burn Steven R. Monroe at the stake when a redo of the Meir Zarchi classic I Spit On Your Grave was announced…until I watched the movie. Superbly acted, skillfully paced and featuring some of the most nihilistic kills in the rape/revenge genre to date, this nasty little nugget surpassed any and all expectations and further proved that if you stick to your guns as a filmmaker you’re likely to create something even more powerful than you anticipated. This is easily one of the ballsiest remakes in existence and one that actually manages to build upon both the intensity of the original as well as the complexity of its characters. Surprisingly recommended.

3. Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence

With the exception of A Serbian Film, no single genre release this year caused as much worldwide controversy as the inevitable sequel to Tom Six’s infamously perverted 2010 mad scientist yarn The Human Centipede. Officially billed by the director as a follow-up that would “make the first one look like Pocahontas”, HC2 is a virtual funhouse of horrors that knows no limits, and yet throughout all the sandpaper masturbation, teeth hammering, barbed wire raping and newborn head-crushing the film remained strangely compelling and oddly cathartic. More importantly, despite common misconceptions the film is also a near-perfect black comedy, continuously digressing from one absurd action to another until the audience surrenders its initial disgust and gives way to laughter. Ultimately, it is the astonishing performance by Lawrence R. Harvey that holds the gaffer tape together, an actor so fearless in his convictions that only he could make a demented sex killer adorable.

2. Insidious

James Wan and Leigh Whannell have irrefutably left their name upon the horror genre, all within a period of just over seven years. And while their breakout effort Saw may have established the young creative duo as a force to be reckoned with, it wasn’t until the release of their third feature-length collaboration Insidious earlier this year that Hollywood really began to take notice of the Melbourne natives and their innate ability to make a cracking movie on a minuscule dime. Meticulously crafted, beautifully shot and at times unbearably suspenseful, their loving postcard to Poltergeist and countless other supernatural successes of the past was chilling enough to inspire several viewers to post reactionary videos on YouTube, in some cases featuring sobbing teenagers warning potential audiences of its scare factor. Regardless of whether or not you remained on board for the films’ slightly goofier second half the impressive jolts displayed early on were effective enough to garner admiration from even the most hardened of fright fans.

1. The Woman

Rarely are contemporary horror films both intellectually challenging and thoroughly entertaining at the same time. More often than not a filmmaker will simply situate his/her characters within a life-threatening scenario then simply play upon audience expectations as to who will survive and how the given evil will be vanquished. This is not the case with Lucky McKee’s The Woman, a truly unique and wonderfully dense story of human behavior at its worst that refuses to bow to the genre’s conventions and consistently demands your attention from start to finish. Nothing about the movie is played safe; exact story details are left intentionally mysterious, every character is deeply flawed and morally questionable, the violence is malicious and confronting but most of all it implores a level of analysis and personal reflection that would likely give the casual moviegoer a twenty-four hour migraine. No other film released in 2011 lingered in the mind longer than this little number and for that reason alone I respect the hell out of it.

What say you, cretins?

Next MHFS Screening: 'Black Christmas' (1974)

2011-12-18T22:10:00.004+11:00

Evening, cretins!

The fat man is coming and I know you've been naughty. But who cares! This festive season, why not celebrate commercial consumerism with a glass mantle piece to the heart...and a screening of the Bob Clark canuxploitation classic Black Christmas! Oh yes, if you thought Carpenter's Halloween was the first slasher flick off the block, think again.

A truly unnerving and compelling piece of stalker cinema, Black Christmas is largely unknown to casual horror fans but hailed by devotees - and with good reason. Beautifully shot, atmospherically rich and featuring some of the genre's most beloved veterans (including another indispensable John Saxon performance), this flick is one holiday number you won't want to miss in the cold. Or sun. Or whatever. Long story short, it's fantastic.

So come along to the Melbourne Horror Film Society on Tuesday 27th at 7:30pm at Bar303 Northcote and celebrate our last screening of the year! Things can - and will - only get better in 2012...

Ears up, evil elves.

The Stunted Insect...

2011-11-29T18:53:00.028+11:00

Evening, cretins.

Well, just when you thought we were making progress and moving forward as a society...this shit happens. After NSW Attorney General Greg Smith demanded that the original R18+ rating (for 'high-impact themes, violence and sexual violence') granted to Tom Six's Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence be reconsidered by the Classification Review Board, the merry band of social elitists decided to reverse their initial decision and refuse the film a classification altogether, thus effectively banning it from a further general theatrical release.

The Board met on Monday and revealed their decision via press release yesterday:

“In the Review Board’s opinion, The Human Centipede II (full sequence) could not be accommodated within the R 18+ classification as the level of depictions of violence in the film has an impact which is very high.“In addition, the film must be refused classification because it contains gratuitous, exploitative or offensive depictions of violence with a very high degree of impact and cruelty which has a high impact."

The preventative measures undertaken have been welcomed by the Christian lobby group FamilyVoice Australia, whom made a request to the review board in the hope that it would be banned. Needless to say, they were overjoyed with the result:

“On behalf of Australian families, we thank the Board for its unanimous agreement. Pornography based on human torture has no place on Australian screens.”

As many horror fans are well aware, Six's film was infamously refused classification in the UK before an eventual removal of two minutes and 37 seconds of footage was made in order for the censors to give it a pass. An edited version was also released in the US last month.

This marks the second occasion this year of a feature film being approved and then banned in a matter of weeks by the Australian Review Board. Srđan Spasojević's controversial A Serbian Film was initially passed without editorial intrusion earlier this year but re-submitted and subsequently expelled from public view.

Ironically, the ridiculous ruling came after the film's local distributor, Monster Pictures, took the film on a nation-wide tour in its UNCUT form, complete with star Lawrence R. Harvey in tow for several Q&A sessions to help promote its release. The screenings were a tremendous success, often times on the brink of selling out. I myself managed to catch the screening in Melbourne and the vibe throughout the night was electric to say the least.

It is likely that distributor Monster Pictures will submit the edited version of Human Centipede 2 for reclassification and ensure its Australian release. The company's initial plans for a home video release of the film on DVD and Blu-Ray on February 23rd 2012 may have to be reconsidered in light of the recent verdict.

Where does one even begin to address the stupidity and hypocrisy of this decision? This is not a film intended to be seen by the casual moviegoer, nor is it even compatible for anyone not familiar with the first installment or with an rough idea of what to expect. Ultimately (and most horror fans would likely agree), it is a well-made film by a skilled and talented filmmaker very much in tune with the films' propensity for black humor and its place within a genre that is rapidly becoming the antithesis of its transgressive roots.

Oh, and IT'S ONLY A FREAKING MOVIE, PEOPLE!

To help Monster Pictures fight this close-minded ruling and keep up to date with all the latest developments, follow them on Facebook and Twitter. Spread the word!

Next MHFS Screening: 'Trick 'r Treat'

2011-10-19T23:37:00.006+11:00

Morning, cretins!

It's Halloween time again, folks. Ah yes, the period of the year otherwise known to us horror fans as 'Easter Sunday' is something we revel in for an entire 4 weeks. Thereafter, things return to normal (aka 'shite'). But let's not get depressed, shall we? After all, the best is yet to come!

Case in point: Melbourne Horror Film Society! Making sure to keep in theme with the times, next Tuesday we'll be screening Michael Dougherty's joyously twisted, maniacally mischievous, outrageously offbeat anthology fright flick Trick 'r Treat. A film that suffered the spite of a criminally misjudged release history until finally being unfairly dumped direct-to-disc in 2009, the aforementioned mini-masterpiece is something mighty special indeed and is sure to serve as a terrific precursor to your Old Hallow's Eve festivities. There'll also be some goodies to give away as well as far too much spooky candy.

Needless to say, Bar 303, Northcote (303 High Street) is where you need to be Tuesday 25th October at 7:30pm.

Nuff said, Fred!

HC2 'SICK' Poster

2011-10-09T14:20:00.003+11:00

Afternoon, cretins!

In the ruthless hype (and unbelievably negative reviews!) leading up to the scattered theatrical distribution of Tom Six's The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence, IFC Films have released another awesomely perverse new poster that rivals some of the best work by graphic designer Tim Palen of Lions Gate Films.

I don't know about you but this one gets my vote!

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence will be released UNCUT in Australia this November by Monster Pictures.

Short Review: 'Nightmares in Red, White and Blue' (2009)

2011-10-07T02:24:00.009+11:00

As any self-respecting horror fan will attest, the United States of America has been responsible for creating some of the most iconic, transgressive and memorable horror films ever made. The country’s incredible history, combined with the upheaval of governmental conspiracies, social unrest and several wars has resulted in countless filmmakers drawing hefty inspiration from the public zeitgeist to deliver audiences with cinematic experiences many consider among the finest in their lifetime. Whether it’s the old classic Universal monster movies of the 1930-40s, the subversive cinéma verite of the 60-70s or the contemporary nihilism of today, America has made – and continues to make – its contribution to the horror genre with both innovation as well as inclination.

Narrated by genre veteran Lance Henriksen and punctuated by interviews with well known horror personalities such as John Carpenter, George A. Romero, Mick Garris, Larry Cohen, Darren Lynn Bousman and many more, Nightmares in Red, White and Blue is a thoroughly expansive, if somewhat undemanding documentation of the country’s fright fare history, serving as both a terrific introduction for beginners and a reflective analysis for life-long fans.

Segmented into eight individual chapters - each covering a specific period of time and the socio-political context with which that era’s films were made – Andrew Monument’s film immediately establishes itself as a fusion of both critical examination and cinematic eye candy. The academic commentary ranges from evident observation (eg, metaphorical zombies in Dawn of the Dead, the xenophobic overtones of Hostel etc) to far-fetched assertions on the verge of absurdity (i.e., the comparisons of Leatherface to Osama bin Laden and Jason as a symbolic avenger sent from God are rather laughable), making some of the content a little uneven at times. The film also makes the conscious decision to disregard the possibility that even the most iconic horror films in the country's history may simply exist to entertain, but ultimately this depends on your intellectual outlook on the subject and how willing you are to delve into the endlessly fascinating/potentially pretentious.

Likewise, there are moments when the films’ narration becomes a little too cheesy for its own good. No doubt cast for his profoundly subterranean pipes, Henriksen often unnecessarily exaggerates the script and his speech - particularly when referring to historical events and societal influences – that often end up generating sniggers rather than genuine contemplation upon the points being discussed. It’s not a major problem but the camp quality of the beloved actor’s characterization does induce a cringe or two from time to time.

By its conclusion, Nightmares in Red, White and Blue paints a rather grim portrait of the American dream and the erosion of the middle class through social and political unrest. It also draws an interesting full-circle summary that compares contemporary horror cinema to that of the material being produced during the 60s-70s, stating that the cultural fears of the past are in many ways being relived through a new generation today. The most powerful country in the world is also one of the most creative and destructive and as long as it maintains both of these traits it will always play a part in the invasion our dreams. Need I mention fans will keep paying to see it happen?

Dir: Andrew Monument
Writers: Joseph Maddrey
Cast: John Carpenter, George A. Romero, Mick Garris, Larry Cohen
Country: USA
Run Time: 96mins
Rating: MA15+

Short Review: 'Rubber' (2010)

2011-10-04T02:20:00.016+11:00

According to Wikipedia (a quantifiable course, I know), the word ‘reason’ is defined as “the capacity human beings have to make sense of things, to establish and verify facts, and to change or justify practices, institutions and beliefs”. In the context of contemporary cinema, the validation of both the spoken word and/or resounding action is generally given a reason for being, both to move the story along and to make its existence easily digestible to an audience. In other words, most moviegoers like to be able to make sense of things, identify motivation…rationalize and reason.

But what if a movie came along that possessed no raison d'etre? What if a filmmaker produced an 82-minute opus that not only disregarded obvious purpose but in fact prided itself on its complete lack logical grounds? You may ask yourself, “well what would be the point of that?” however such an inquiry would be like looking directly into a mirror and wondering why it displays a reflection of oneself. It just does. Hailing from France, Rubber is a delightfully demented, defiant black comedy dedicated to those of us who have a tenancy to ask one too many questions and never end up being satisfied with the results, even if it means dismissing a film altogether.

Somewhere deep in the American desert, a discarded tire (affectionately named Robert) is inexplicably brought to life and sets off on an adventure, rolling across the barren landscape and exploring the sights therein. In his travels he soon discovers he has the ability (through some kind of psychokinetic power) to make objects – and people – explode and begins entertaining his newfound trick on a rather frequent basis. Robert’s exploits are also narrated by a horde of nameless onlookers gathered from afar, keeping watch through binoculars and occasionally pitching in their two cents on the absurdity unfolding before their eyes.

So what is Rubber exactly? An art film? An avant garde experiment? A filmmaker’s idea of a practical joke? Actually, it’s none of these things. In many ways director Quentin Dupieux has created the perfect cinematic opposition to every snobby film critic who has ever published a hinder of condemnation toward a given piece of celluloid storytelling…and then some. Rubber’s very existence is built upon the idea that not everything we encounter as human beings can be easily explained away, let alone contrive an answer for in the face of demanding authority. Dupieux’s screenplay embraces the reality that, whether we like it or not we live in a world of random events besieged by random consequences and if one were to forever search for meaning among madness they would most certainly succomb to madness themselves. As the old saying goes, ‘shit happens’. Plain and simple.

With that said, Rubber is in no way a depressing film. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Visually, it's incredibly sharp and filled to the brim with surreal imagery and memorable sequences (Robert’s face off with the police car is priceless) that help sustain the run time and prevent the potentially one-note gag from growing stale too soon. The soundtrack is also amusing and interestingly playful, especially considering the hefty bloodshed that takes place and its prominence during the films’ second half. All these aspects are beautifully orchestrated and made possible by the resounding sense of humor that Dupieux employs so charmingly throughout the movie; a winning combination that further exemplifies the films’ peculiar plight.

Completely self-aware, knowingly cheeky and thoroughly irreverent, Rubber is the best film about nothing ever made. Remember, this is in no way a denouncement. No sir. If you watch the film and come away thinking “that was pointless”, you’d be missing the point….or would you? Maybe not. Are we meant to know? Who cares. Just see it.

Dir: Quentin Dupieux
Writers: Quentin Dupieux
Cast: Stephen Sinella, Roxane Mesquida, Wings Hauser
Country: France
Run Time: 82mins
Rating: MA15+

Short Review: '[REC] 2' (2009)

2011-09-29T14:40:00.013+10:00

In 2007, Spanish filmmakers Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza brought to the horror genre arguably the best example of the ‘shaky cam’ film we’ve seen to date. Tremendously claustrophobic, brutally violent and hyper-realistic in every way imaginable, [REC] won over not only horror fans but film critics as well, proving popular and renowned enough to launch an almost immediate Hollywood remake in the form of Quarantine the following year – a surprisingly solid film in its own right.

Suffice to say the more-than-a-little eagerly awaited [REC] 2 had quite a lot to live up to, at least from a fan perspective. Suffering the same miserable fate as its predecessor with a direct-to-video shelving (such a crime!), this more than worthy follow up delivers not only on the visceral energy of the first film but also takes its story into areas much darker and more challenging than one might expect, resulting in an intensely rewarding experience potent enough to stay with you for several days after watching.

Literally picking up 15 minutes after the closing events of the first film, [REC] 2 opens with a SWAT team - accompanied by a doctor - as they prepare to enter the same quarantined apartment building after an unexplained outbreak of violent attacks was perpetrated upon its tenants. They soon learn that the virus travels through human blood, not the air as initially thought, and quickly set about to create a vaccine using uninfected plasma. It turns out, however, the group’s supposed medical practitioner is actually a priest who, unbeknownst to his armed protectors, believes the epidemic to be far more serious than expected and that the building’s occupants are in fact ‘possessed’ by a demon...

By comparison, [REC] 2 is dynamically richer than its predecessor, due in no small part to the substitution of law enforcement operatives in place of a television news crew. The investigation into the contagion is arguably more aggressive as we follow the strike team through a chamber of horrors so ferocious that any dank corner or darkened crevice is likely home to a lurking threat unafraid to jump right out and latch onto the jugular as if it were candy. The first-person aesthetic of the original is also amplified by giving the SWAT team the capability of switching between video feeds, so that no matter where they are in the building they can easily tune in to see what they’re teammates are up to, thus instantaneously transporting the audience to the most relevant action taking place. It’s a neat addition to the storytelling and further enhances the possibilities for generating suspense.

Another admirable aspect of the sequel is the realistic approach with which the characters question the story’s venture into the supernatural. When it is suggested that the cause of the infection may be demonic in nature, the SWAT team never for a second accept the claim without first subjecting the priest to serious scrutiny, allowing for an easier reception of the notion on the viewer's behalf. Balaguero and Plaza could just as easily have undermined their audience’s intelligence by crudely tacking on such a development, thus running the risk of loosing them to implausibility. Thankfully, however the duo strive in every way to make the scenario as convincing as possible and the movie benefits greatly as a result.

As before, the performances here are all top notch and the action sequences beautifully choreographed and paced. The minimal use of music is also nothing short of a wise choice, positioning the rich sound design at the heart of the mayhem to allow for maximum effect and rustling of the nerves. In many ways it seemed like an impossible task but this is one of those rare follow-ups (and soon to be part 2 of 3) that actually manages to equal its forbearer. Rest assured, if you liked what you got from [REC] then [REC] 2 will at the very least have you grinning from ear to ear in devilish delight by the time the final camera lens is smashed to smithereens.

Dir: Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza
Writers: Jaume Balaguero, Paco Plaza and Diez
Cast: Jonathan Mellor, Oscar Zafra, Ariel Casas, Alejandro Casaseca
Country: Spain
Run Time: 85mina
Rating: MA15+

Short Review: 'Midnight Movie' (2008)

2011-09-28T00:57:00.015+10:00

Film-within-a-film movies are admittedly a tough feat to pull off. The very notion of positioning a cinematic story within the confines of a partnering cinematic story and have it play out cohesively automatically creates a succession of unique narrative challenges, both for a filmmaker to address and an audience to process. An interesting dialectic of forces to be sure, this once nifty gimmick has more or less become a subgenre in and of itself and continues to be experimented with today in almost every category of film imaginable, including the horror genre.

There’s an interestingly hefty amount of slasher films coming out of the independent film scene these days, most of which try desperately to emulate the bygone days of the genre’s golden era whilst still maintaining a contemporary attitude. Jack Messitt’s Midnight Movie more or less ignores this trend, opting instead for a far more straightforward, less self-conscious approach but possessing the initiative to employ a marketable idea amusing enough to set it apart from the cavalcade of micro-budget drivel readily available to the masses. A refreshing change for once!

A ramshackle independent theatre in a small American town is playing a late night session of a supposedly ‘cursed’ 60s horror movie entitled ‘The Dark Beneath’, a film whose director/star went on to commit several savage murders soon after the films’ completion. Apparently his shrink at the loony bin believed that showing him his film again would help aid in his recovery, however this only lead to more mindless slaughter and a further deterioration of his psychosis. As a dare, the youthful staff in attendance for the screening believe that by exhibiting the infamous film to the public they may in fact manage to lure the vanished madman out of hiding…a prediction they soon regret when the blood begins to flow.

From the minute you start watching Midnight Movie there’s a good chance you’ll think you’ve accidently stumbled across a copy of a long ignored direct-to-video body count flick from the mid-90s. There is so much about Messitt’s film that feels so perfectly in line with the slasher films of that era - from the campy delivery of dialogue and humor by the entire cast, the overly cartoonish nature of the deaths, bounding leaps in logic, right on down to a gag during the end credits silly enough to reassure you that you got your money’s worth. Consequently, the film lives and breathes a certain naïveté when it comes to embodying plausibility in a contemporary context, a minor conundrum some younger viewers may struggle with depending on their sensibilities. However, to the more seasoned fan the movie, this will no doubt sit perfectly fine on their radar of tolerability.

And while the amusingly preposterous scenario, impressive FX work and old-school mentality on display may prove a definite romp for some, there’s no doubt some horror fans will bulk at the inherent ridiculousness of Messitt and co-writer Mark Garbett’s screenplay. Aside from the occasional twist on expectation and intriguing plot device, much of the film relies on a suspension of not only logic but common sense in order for the contrived scenarios to even remotely work within the context of the mayhem taking place. Without giving too much away, it’s safe to say that Midnight Movie definitely requires one to leave the majority of their brain at the door and enjoy the sight of those being pulverized on screen instead.

In the end, we’re not talking about remodernist slasher cinema with Midnight Movie, nor are we dealing with a film that reinvents the long-treaded wheel of the subgenre in any way. However, if you’re after a stand-alone stalker flick with a few neat kills, a somewhat original villain and a healthy tongue in its cheek you could certainly do a hell of a lot worse than this nasty nugget.

Dir: Jack Messitt
Writers: Mark Garbett and Jack Messitt
Cast: Rebekah Brandes, Daniel Bonjour, Greg Cirulnick, Jon Briddell
Country: USA
Run Time: 82mins
Rating: MA15+

Next MHFS Screening: 'A Tale of Two Sisters'

2011-09-20T14:44:00.004+10:00

Afternoon, cretins!

This month at the Melbourne Horror Film Society we're pulling out some mighty special splatter from the East. Yes sir, screening next Tuesday will be renowned South Korean director Jee-woon Kim's mini masterpiece A Tale of Two Sisters - an amazing slice of demented drama that is sure to remain with you for some time (assuming you haven't already seen this gem, that is). We'll also have some giveaways and other such shenanigans, all in good company as always.

So come along to Bar 303 in Northcote (303 High Street) on Tuesday 27th September at 7:30pm and share in mayhem. Memberships are available for purchase on the night as usual.

Hope to see you there!

New DR Review: 'Sick Girl'

2011-09-15T17:48:00.004+10:00

Evening, cretins!

My latest review for Digital Retribution concerns a girl. A very ill girl. A sick girl. She has a problem or two. Or three. Or fifty. Either way, she needs some serious psychological massaging. Only question is, who would dream of going near a young fem with a visage such as this?

CLICK HERE to read it!

Short Review: 'Plague Town' (2008)

2011-09-14T12:20:00.010+10:00

Genre documentarian David Gregory has contributed wonders to the horror community. A co-founder of Blue Underground – one of the most respected genre DVD companies in the market place – and responsible for helping produce some 130 ‘making of’ featurettes for classics such as The Wicker Man, Don’t Look Now and Repulsion, Gregory now owns Dark Sky films, another distribution/production company dedicated to the promotion and preservation of beloved cult favorites. Thus, it was only a matter of time before the filmmaker within would one day emerge and direct his own fright feature for the world to see.

In a throwback to 1970s survivalist horror, killer kid movies and several other evident loves clearly held by Gregory, Plague Town presents the outwardly predictable appearance of a traditional stranded-dysfunctional-family-being-hunted-by-crazed-murderous-rednecks movie. However, by the time the mayhem kicks in and the body count begins to rise, this neat if not overly remarkable little shocker has the good sense to put a twist or two on the more familiar attributes associated with the subgenre, specifically those that often bog down so many tiresome imitators.

Jerry (David Lombard) has instigated a family getaway with his new partner Annette (Lindsay Goranson) and two daughters, the emotionally scarred Molly (Josslyn DeCrosta) and the rebellious Jessica (Erica Rhodes) who also has a tag-along in the form of British would-be-boyfriend Robin (James Warke). The already contentious relationships that exist between the group are greater escalated when they miss their ride back home, forcing them on a trek through the countryside to find the nearest phone and call for help. With nightfall approaching and exhausted of both energy and luck, they stumble across an abandoned car near the woods and decide to crash inside until morning, that is until strange sounds begin emanating from the vegetation beyond...

From the get go it’s clear where Gregory’s influences lie and Plague Town displays many well-worn staples of the genre, all of which are incorporated as per usual for this type of fare. But while the screenplay builds itself upon a stock scenario it never completely surrenders itself to it, giving Gregory and co-writer John Cregan enough leeway to have a little fun toying with audience expectations. For example, much of the films’ weathered visual aesthetic (and I mean that in the best possible way) resembles a style more akin to 1940s-50s period pieces than anything out of latter day grindhouse cinema. The deeply strange and unusual villains - evidenced strongly through the dominant mother figure ruling the farmhouse and the girl with the sewn eyeballs - are uniquely bizarre and out of left field for a film of this ilk. Furthermore, the demise of one particular character ritualistically hung from a tree in a field whilst a group of youths look on in mesmerized fulfillment conjures up some mighty disturbing images of events past. These noticeable artistic choices all serve in helping make the movie a little different than your average hillbilly hack-em-up.

Much of the cohesion in style comes from Plague Town’s deliberate slow-burn structure, a very conscious decision employed by Gregory and one that pays off in the films’ ability to systematically creep you out one scare at a time. From the point when we’re introduced to the characters to the moment of the first kill a good fifty minutes of screen time has elapsed, proving the patience of the screenplay and its insistence on the building of crucial tension in order to maximize each bloody blow. It’s an exacting production and requires the audience to fully invest itself in the predicament of the hapless family, the duty of which is well worth the effort.

There are definitely a few weak spots in Plague Town, mainly consisting of the occasional misfired performance and minor lapse in logic, however none are glaringly obtuse enough to throw the movie into the realm of being unwatchable. Ultimately, this is an astutely atmospheric, effectively eerie fright film lovingly crafted by a real student of the genre and a filmmaker who understands the importance of treating their audience with admiration by allowing the mood created to dictate the ensuing mayhem and not the other way round.

Dir: David Gregory
Writers: John Cregan and David Gregory
Cast: David Lombard, Lindsay Goranson, Josslyn DeCrosta, Erica Rhodes
Country: USA
Run Time: 88mins
Rating: MA15+

New DR Review: 'Cherry 2000'

2011-09-09T07:52:00.003+10:00

Evening, cretins!

The subject of my latest review for Digital Retribution is fembots. That's right, hot female androids designed to fulfill every male desire and much, much more in the year 2017...that is until Tim Thomerson drops in to end the party.

CLICK HERE to read it!

The Worm Continues to Squirm!

2011-09-06T10:31:00.006+10:00

Morning, cretins!

All you fans of backyard biology experiments out there better listen up!

Last night local genre distributor Monster Pictures premiered their cheeky teaser trailer (of which I helped work on) for Tom Six's much anticipated and highly controversial The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence, the followup to the notorious 2009 shocker.

The film has been making headlines across the web for the past few months since its somewhat predictable banning in the UK by the BBFC who claim the film to be "sexually violent, potentially obscene and unacceptable” and that it "poses a real, as opposed to a fanciful, risk that harm is likely to be caused to potential viewers".

While several other territories will be releasing the film in cut versions (including the US), the fine folk at Monster Pictures are proud to announce they will be unleashing it here in Oz completely UNCUT! You heard right, fiends.

But honestly, if you're insane enough to take to heart the outlandishness of the films' very concept then you might wanna check vacancies at Bellevue sooner rather than later. As the great David Cronenberg once said:

"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion".

Yep.

CLICK HERE to read the full BBFC review of the film.

Look for me at 00:40!

The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence release date TBA.

Next MHFS Screening: 'House on Haunted Hill'

2011-08-13T13:53:00.002+10:00

Afternoon, cretins!

This month at the Melbourne Horror Film Society we're feeling particularly giving to our members. Read on if you're intrigued...

First up we'll be giving away some Insidious prize packs (including a copy of the film on DVD and a nifty t-shirt) as well as a Psycho shower curtain (yep, you heard right!). Following the distribution of these goodies we'll then be screening the classic William Castle schlock-fest House on Haunted Hill! Oh, what a night it shall be.

So come along to Bar 303 in Northcote (303 High Street) on Tuesday 30th August and share in mayhem. Memberships are available for purchase on the night as always.

Hope to see you there!

Short Review: 'Burning Bright' (2010)

2011-07-15T14:42:00.005+10:00

Question: what would you do if after being robbed of your opportunity to attend college you became trapped in a boarded-up house during a hurricane with your autistic younger brother and a starved ex-circus tiger hungry for blood? This is the basic setup of Carlos Brooks’ Florida-based horror/thriller Burning Bright (previously titled Ravenous), a film with a scenario so outrageous that if it were put in the hands of a clueless, gun-for-hire director would most likely end up being a cinematic train wreck. Thankfully, this old-school survival pic is far more intelligent and skillful than you might expect, instantly putting anything similarly produced by the SyFy Channel to shame by comparison.

The movie opens with an exchange between circus dealer Howie (Meat Loaf) and self-centered entrepreneur Johnny (Garret Dillahunt) whom, unbeknownst to his son and daughter, is looking to start a local safari by purchasing a ‘domesticated’ tiger with the intention of training it himself. Meanwhile, daughter Kelly (Briana Evigan) is rejected care for her mentally handicapped brother Tom (Charlie Tahan) after an unexpected lack of funds disables her bank account, crushing her plans for intended college study. When Kelly learns that her father has exhausted the finances in order to fund his get-rich-quick venture she is understandably heart broken, however it quickly becomes the least of her problems when she is left to fend for the life of her brother and herself during a ferocious hurricane, the onset of which unleashes a certain wild, big-cat through the front door...

Like any home invasion movie, the filmmakers behind Burning Bright had to provide a solidified reason for their characters to be boarded up within a confined space, let alone introduce a justifiable enemy to drive the threat of death further. With that said, it’s a fair to say that screenwriters Christine Coyle Johnson and Julie Prendiville Roux perhaps conjured up a scenario so ludicrous the chances of it actually occurring in reality are somewhere between 100 to 1, thus immediately calling into action viewer disbelief. Ironically, herein lies director Brooks’ immense talent for taking a potentially laughable situation and turning it into a genuinely exciting and legitimately menacing 86 minutes that delivers some of the best suspense sequences in recent memory. Paying careful attention to pacing and geography, Brooks effortlessly turns the whirlwind home that enslaves its two occupants into a virtual maze of horrors, keeping the beast hidden for much of its screen time and only choosing to reveal it when the tension is at its most palpable. The film is also incredibly well shot and, with the exception of a couple of brief moments, combines its green screen tiger FX into the action remarkably well to create an almost seamless impression of roaming danger.

Interestingly enough, as technically proficient as Burning Bright is the real heart of the movie lies within the heartbreaking relationship shared between its two leads and the dramatic baring their personal lives has upon their fight for survival. In a breakout performance by Briana Evigan (Sorority Row), an authentic sensibility of both frustration and affection for her mentally scarred brother is created that helps drive the story into deeply emotional areas many films of the same ilk wouldn’t even consider exploring, let alone touch upon fleetingly. The same goes for little Charlie Tahan who is utterly convincing as the young boy in question.

While it’s by no means an instant classic or perhaps even a film you’ll remember vividly a decade from now, Burning Bright is a refreshingly welcome little rollercoaster ride in an age dominated by beyond-bland remakes and pathetic attempts at franchise inception. For a fun horror film it’s certainly a smart one and that alone is something you can’t say a lot these days.

Dir: Carlos Brooks
Writers: Christine Coyle Johnson and Julie Prendiville Roux
Cast: Briana Evigan, Charlie Tahan, Garret Dillahunt, Meat Loaf
Country: USA
Run Time: 86mins
Rating: M15+

'The Thing' Trailer Debut...

2011-07-15T11:26:00.005+10:00

Morning, cretins.

Well, one of the key moments many nervous fans have waited for is finally here. Today on YouTube the official trailer for Universal's The Thing "prequel" made its debut and whilst many fans have been curious about the notion of seeing a precursor to the John carpenter classic, the general impression given by the trailer makes the film appear as if it's simply a shot-for-shot remake in disguise. The setup, the casting, the visual aesthetic...everything seems to emulate the 1982 original almost verbatim. Granted, this is only a trailer and merely offers up but a smidgen of the entire film, however if the studio is trying to convince audiences their picture is anything but a duplication I fear they may have many disappointed viewers out for blood.

Let's hope I'm wrong.

The Thing opens in theatres October 13th.

Short Review: 'Zombies of Mass Destruction' (2009)

2011-07-13T15:36:00.005+10:00

Every zombie movie released since Night of the Living Dead is knowingly indebted (at least to some degree) to the George Romero classic. Everything from the desolate small town settings and besieged everymen to the established temperament of the flesh-eaters themselves has been imitated, emulated, duplicated…perhaps to the point of no return. However, completists will always honour the originator’s conception and in this case, no one does it like the native Pittsburghian.

Of course, it goes without saying that a good percentage of this respect comes from the social relevance embedded within Romero’s work and the way in which the zombie metaphor is used to highlight greater concerns occurring within the then-current global zeitgeist. Interestingly, the walking dead films of late have practically abandoned this rationale in favor of a more streamlined action-orientated approach; a valid formula to be sure, albeit perhaps not as enduring. Clearly not wanting to follow the crowd, first-time director Kevin Hamedani decided to resurrect the subversive spirit of the original living dead films and transpose it to war-torn 21^st Century America…with a healthy dose of black comedy thrown in for good measure.

Taking place some short time after the 9-11 attacks on New York City, a small seaside town is inundated with a living dead plague, dropping residents like flies and sending chaos amongst the entire community. Amid the confusion and bloodshed a young Iranian woman named Frida (Janette Armand) who everyone thinks is an Iraqi, is forced to deal with the fact that the majority of the town is lead to believe (thanks to a very Fox News-esque broadcast) that the Middle East is responsible for zombie outbreak. Hilarity ensues.

Whether by intent or otherwise, the most obvious comparison one will likely draw with Zombies of Mass Destruction is its comedic relationship with fan favorite Shaun of the Dead and the similar dramatic approach both films share with regard to the absurdity of their scenarios. Like Shaun, the humor is handled both aptly and with great comedic timing and never at any point does it feel out of place or misdirected for cheap laughs. Moments like a dinner table scene between a zombified mother and her closeted homosexual son who, after attempting to come out for the first time, instead ends up driving a metal pole through her torso are but one great example of the sheer surreal lunacy that envelopes the film from beginning to end.

However, the major difference between the two films is undoubtedly the political irreverence and unmistakable satire of Hamedani and Ramon Isao’s screenplay that, while serving as the main driving force behind ‘the point’, also doesn’t completely dictate the disposition of its characters and their overall likability in the face of such hellish circumstances. The movie both slyly and stridently lampoons the hypocrisy of the former Bush administration, purposefully depicting a town in possession of a right-wing fanaticism so extreme and illogical it practically trumps the horror of the undead cannibals roaming just outside on the front lawn. For this reason alone, the employed social and historical context of ZMD provides the film with an interesting durability of sorts, helping make it one of the more curious recent entries in the subgenre.

And for those of you die-hard fans wondering if the movie is simply all cheeky left-wing protesting, be rest assured there’s plenty of grisly ghoul action and copious splatter amid the film’s brisk 89 minute running time, including an awesome face-ripping that had this reviewer cheering like a drunken sports fan on Super Bowl Sunday. Recommended.

Dir: Kevin Hamedani
Writers: Kevin Hamedani & Ramon Isao
Cast: Janette Armand, Doug Fahl, Cooper Hopkins, Russell Hodgkinson
Country: USA
Run time: 89mins
Rating: R18+

Melbourne International Film Festival 2011: 'Night Shift' Selection!

2011-07-12T18:18:00.023+10:00

Evening, cretins!

As many of you locals may know, Melbourne’s renowned and much celebrated International Film Festival will be rolling onto our screens in just over two weeks time, marking the celluloid spectacle’s 60th anniversary of showcasing diverse motion picture content from around the world. The seventeen day long fiesta will run from July 21st through to August 7th and will house screenings and events at eleven locations around the greater Melbourne CBD, primarily the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) and Greater Union Cinemas Russell Street. Ah yes, it's an exciting time for film buffs young and old, feeble and freakish.

But will there be horror, you ask? Well, it is my pleasure to report that for all you genre fans out there looking for the latest dark delicacies, the festival's 'Night Shift' selection is once again the place to head for prime perturbation and this year is sure to not disappoint. With titles originating from the US, the UK, Japan and Norway, the six film line up is all parts offbeat and oppressive, farcical and frightening and will no doubt have audiences debating to the death.

Without further ado, the 'Night Shift' for MIFF 2011 is as follows:

Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
Director: Jason Eisner
Starring: Rutger Hauer
Country: USA/Canada

At the end of the line in a crime-ridden city, a hobo is looking for a fresh start. What he finds is an urban hell run by a murderous crime lord and his psychopathic sons. There's only one way to clean up the city: with a gun in his hand and two shells in the chamber.

The Innkeepers (2010)
Director: Ti West
Starring: Sarah Paxton, Pat Healy, Kelly McGillis
Country: USA

Claire and Luke, two bored, restless night shift staff in the Yankee Pedlar Inn, while away the hours investigating rumours that the hotel is haunted - Luke has even half-built a website devoted to the history of supernatural manifestations. When an aging spiritualist (Kelly McGillis) checks in, Claire and Luke start to make some headway on their ghost hunt - and suddenly their game takes on a decidedly more sinister aspect.

Kill List (2011)
Director: Ben Wheatley
Starring: Ben Wheatley, Amy Jump
Country: UK

Jay is having a tough time - his marriage is on the verge of breakdown, and he hasn't worked for months. So when his old friend Gal suggests they both return to their old profession of hired killers, Jay readily agrees. But as they start to work down their list of targets, signs begin to point to a deeper conspiracy.

Super (2010)
Director: James Gunn
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Liv Tyler, Ellen Page, Kevin Bacon
Country: USA

After Frank's wife is lured into drug addiction by her sleazy ex-boyfriend, Frank decides enough is enough. With the aid of a helpful - if somewhat sadistic - comic store clerk named Libby, Frank becomes the Crimson Bolt, embarking on a wrench-wielding, spectacularly violent quest to save his wife.

Troll Hunter (2011)
Director: André Øvredal
Starring: Otto Jespersen, Glenn Erland Tosterud, Joanna MØrck
Country: Norway

Forget Sasquatch or Area 51, for years the Norweigan government has been involved in the biggest cover-up the world has ever known - or rather, not known. Not just made-up stories to keep Scandinavian children awake at night, the mythical troll exists, and Norway has its own program to keep troll numbers down, for the safety of everyone. Now, a trio of documentary filmmakers have stumbled upon a man whose job it is to keep the Godzilla-sized trouble-makers at bay - and they're in for a bumpy ride.

The Woman (2010)
Director: Lucky McKee
Starring: Otto Jespersen, Glenn Erland Tosterud, Joanna MØrck
Country: USA

Chris Cleek is a small town court officer living a quiet, seemingly normal life in the heart of Maine with his beloved family. That is, until Chris discovers a feral woman roaming the woods and makes it the family's project to civilize her. But as the family's methods of forcing civility upon the woman become ever more extreme, the perverse bonds uniting them will be cast into violent relief.

Zebraman 2: Attack On Zebra City (2010)
Director: Takashi Miike
Starring: Sho Aikawa, Riisa Naka, Tsuyoshi Abe
Country: Japan

Unconscious for many years, Zebraman awakens in 2025 to find Tokyo in the grip of a totalitarian Mayor and his egomaniacal pop star daughter. Police death-squads conduct random shootings and alien invaders are on the loose. When a mysterious mute girl reignites the fire of justice in Zebraman, the superhero is reborn, ready to spark a revolution.

This year's festival kicks off on July 21st and continues through until August 7th.

Once again, visit miff.com.au for more information about booking tickets, venues, etc.

Short Review: 'Devil' (2010)

2011-07-07T01:19:00.014+10:00

It goes without saying that the unfortunate career trajectory of M. Night Shyamalan has been well documented. The once promising director wowed the movie-going public with his 1999 debut The Sixth Sense and followed it up with the successive hits Unbreakable and Signs before arguably beginning a downward turn with the release of The Village and other consecutive critical failures. In any event, the Philadelphia-born filmmaker has often been considered by many to be more adept in screenwriting than directing.

In an attempt to greenlight more film projects into production, albeit not as directorial efforts, Shyamalan's ‘Night Chronicles’ banner emerged this year with Devil, the first of several up and coming thrillers conceived in a similar vein as those directed by the man himself. Helmed by John Erick Dowdle (The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Quarantine), this minimalist chiller possesses all the elements of a cracking good time but is quickly undermined by an intrusively smug religious point of view that ultimately overshadows its initially intriguing proposition.

A seemingly ordinary work day turns into a nightmare for six strangers who suddenly become trapped inside a high rise elevator. As claustrophobia sets in amongst the group and patience begins to wear thin, a greater truth is eventually revealed that only serves to highlight the hopelessness of the situation: one of those ensnared within the steel cubicle is in fact the Devil him/herself, disguised as a mere metropolitan civilian yet just as dangerous as one could imagine...

When it comes to horror-thrillers, one could argue that there are essentially two stock scenarios utilized by the majority of filmmakers: those that take place in wide, expansive areas across several locations and those contained entirely within one location. From a cinematic point of view, both circumstances have their own unique storytelling advantages and in the case of Devil the inherent claustrophobia instilled by its singular locale provides the film with a terrific platform upon which to build tightly wound suspense and scares within the context of a plausible predicament. Thankfully, this proves to be the case for at least the first half of the film, as one by one the characters slowly begin to eat away at each other's sanity which in turn affects the frequency of each impending death.

However, herein lies the Devil’s hidden moral agenda. Intermittently throughout, Dowdle cuts back and forth between those trapped in the elevator and two security guards in an office watching the mayhem unfold. One of the guards, (Jacob Vargas) a deeply religious Hispanic man, begins to offer his opinion regarding the unexplainable events, attributing it all to the handiwork of Lucifer and the power of pure evil. Moreover, he then goes on to explain that the only way for the authorities investigating the chaos to solve the situation is to employ the grace of God via divine hope and prayer, verified in a scene in which he tosses a piece of toast up in the air and reacts violently when it lands jelly side up (???). Not only is this stereotyping of a certain racial community potentially offensive, the absurdity of its feeble introduction into the story entirely emasculates the films’ carefully mounted tension and mystery, so much so that any potential for thematic interpretation is swiftly done away with and never reinstated thereafter.

Despite the subsequent predictability of the film’s final third as a result of its right-wing Catholic conscience, Devil still retains some interesting visuals, strong sound design and mostly solid performances that help aid in the watchability of its remaining minutes before succumbing to an inevitable conclusion. Whether it was Shyamalan whom envisioned the film instilled with holy values is perhaps irrelevant, as their clumsy inclusion still ends up driving both the direction of the story as well as the existential outlook of not one but every character in the film. I don’t know about you but if I wanted to pay for a church sermon and not a movie I would have tripped on down to my local city street corner instead of spending $7 on this preachy claptrap.

Dir: John Erick Dowdle
Writer: Brian Nelson (screenplay), M. Night Shyamalan (story)
Cast: Chris Messina, Logan Marshall- Green, Jenny O'Hara, Geoffrey Arend
Country: USA
Run Time: 80mins
Rating: M15+

SBS Film Review: 'Pieces'

2011-07-02T09:39:00.002+10:00

Morning, cretins!

The good folks over at SBS decided to take a step into the grotesque this week by enlisting me to write a review for their monthly Film Newsletter. Always eager to spread the disease, I immediately jumped at the opportunity and decided to re-watch Juan Piquer Simon's 1982 splatter-fest Pieces, one of the most beloved massacre malfunctions in the history of the genre.

CLICK HERE to read it!

Next MHFS Screening: 'Sheitan'

2011-06-27T15:47:00.005+10:00

Afternoon, cretins!

A new month goes by and a new venue emerges for The Melbourne Horror Film Society. As of tomorrow, MHFS will now be congregating at Bar 303 in Northcote (303 High Street) on the last Tuesday of every month for regular screenings and other such shenanigans. Also, the relocation means cheaper membership fees for all you fright fans yet to get in on the action! What could be better?

This month will be Kim Chapiron's offbeat black comedy/horror Sheitan, staring Vincent Cassel as a more-than-crazed lunatic. It's a unique film for sure and well worth your time so why not drop by at 7:30pm tomorrow and join in the rabid discussion (and dissection) with like-minded horrorholics?

I can't think of any reason not to.

New DR Review: 'The Lawnmower Man'

2011-06-25T00:17:00.004+10:00

Morning, cretins!

The subject of my latest review for Digital Retribution recalls the early days of VR (that's 'virtual reality' for you un-nerdy folk) and rips off the name of an entirely unrelated Stephen King short story in the process. That's right, we're talking The Lawnmower Man...

CLICK HERE to read it!

Short Review: 'House of the Dead: The Funny Version' (2008)

2011-06-19T23:04:00.004+10:00

The percentage of filmmakers working in the industry today that are willing to actively make fun of themselves is probably somewhere around 0.01%. Those who chose to make friends with the viewing public via interviews, press conferences, premieres and other such mainstream appearances tend to maintain a respectable and somewhat upright guise toward their respective audiences, rarely falling into the trap of self-parody and/or tabloid gossip. However, in recent times we have discovered there are indeed exceptions to this rule.

Enter esteemed German doctor of literature and god-awful filmmaking, Mr Uwe Boll. Having now made a significant career for himself as a prolific purveyor of Z-grade horror/action/science fiction/video game adaptations (each one arguably more inept than the last) it would seem there’s almost no turning back for the 45-year old auteur of the absurd. But in an industry driven by the bottom line, Mr Boll may in fact be the first filmmaker to not only capitalize on his unlikely success but also the first one to wholly embrace his own cinematic incompetence like it were a gift from the movie gods.

Unlike any money-grabbing scheme in recent memory, House of the Dead: The Funny Version (aka House of the Dead: The Director’s Cut) is a legitimate first in directorial self-deprecation. Compiled exclusively from outtakes, bloopers and unused footage from the original zombie abomination, this moronic movie montage functions entirely as a ninety-minute lampooning of both the 2003 theatrical version of the film as well as Boll himself; something not many directors have the balls (or stupidity, depending on your point of view) to do. In order to set the justified tone, Boll opens the film with a phony hostage scenario in which he is featured on-camera whilst being held captive by two goons threatening to kill him for making House of the Dead and other such dismal fare. Is this Boll’s death caught on film you ask? No. Figuratively? Maybe.

From here on out the film kicks into full swing as a non-stop barrage of self-referential mockery. For example, the original cast is brought back to re-record dialogue in order to spoof original scenes, VH1-style ‘fun facts’ continually pop up throughout featuring criticisms of the movie, cartoonish sound effects and graphics are incorporated to enhance the juvenile sensibility of the material…the list goes on. There are even moments in which the films’ editors have included the audio of Boll’s off-camera direction to the actors as he continually belittles and abuses their performances like a surly old drunk in a Sunset strip club. It’s quite a thing to behold.

Outside of the blatant send-up and admittedly tiring formula, there’s not much else to say about House of the Dead: The Funny Version except that it stands stagged as a beast all its own. Never has a filmmaker so explicitly eviscerated their own persona for all to see; so much so that any claim the man may to the possession of genuine craftsmanship is done away with in the opening scene and the eighty-plus minutes that follow. You may love it, you may hate it but you’ll definitely be in awe of it.

Dir: Uwe Boll
Writer: Dave Parker & Mark Altman
Cast: Johnathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso, Clint Howard, Jurgen Prochnow
Country: USA/Germany
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: MA+

Bloodfest Fantastique Film Festival

2011-05-28T13:03:00.008+10:00

Afternoon, cretins!

It's always a pleasure to announce more home-grown horror events here in Oz, especially those that promote all kinds fright fare. If you're a local movie buff here in Melbourne you're more than likely aware of the terrific Hello Darkness Film Festival, another like-minded genre fiesta soon to program its 3rd year in operation. Curated by MUFF (Melbourne Underground Film Festival) founder Richard Wolstencroft and presented by Monster Pictures, the Bloodfest Fantastique Film Festival kicks off its inaugural celebration this year in St Kilda, Melbourne, by showcasing a wide variety of both science fiction and horror delicacies over the course of nine highly anticipated days!

The heart of the idea behind BFFF is perhaps best described by the man himself, Mr Wolstencroft:

"We will have a theme at Bloodfest as we do at MUFF. Why? Because that kind of thing is not done at Australia’s so-called “quality” film festivals. Most totally lack any personality and curatorial direction and distinction and we like to buck that trend. The theme of Bloodfest is futurism and barbarism. As we move further in to the 21st Century we see a lot of disharmony, discord and violence all around the world. The horror and dystopian science fiction film totally examines this situation and prepares us for what could be a bleak future. Harlan from Videodrome described it thus, “The West is getting soft, patrón, and the rest of the world is getting tough. Very, very tough. We’re entering savage new times and we’re going to have to be pure and direct... and strong... if we’re going to survive them."

The festival commences June 10th and concludes on the 18th and will be held at the St Kilda Memo (88 Acland Street). Tickets for the opening and closing nights are available via info@bloodfest.com.au whilst all other passes can be purchased at the door on the night of each screening.

Visit the official website for more details, including a full downloadable program.

Hope to see you maniacs there!

St Kilda Film Festival 2011: 'Horrorpalooza'!

2011-05-22T20:14:00.007+10:00

Evening, cretins!

It's time for another plug in the name of the grotesque! Yes sir, one of Melbourne's most renowned filmic celebrations, The St Kilda Film Festival, has come to greet us again and is more welcome than ever. 2011 marks the festival's 28th year in operation and will this time be run at the locale's esteemed Astor Theatre - the perfect temple for the worthy worship of celluloid. Could there be a better union of time and place? Yeah, didn't think so.

Of particular interest to genre fans, however, will be the festival's gnarly 'Horrorpalooza' segment: a compilation of old exploitation trailers played back-to-back for a straight ninety minutes! The set has been curated by native Melbourne filmmakers Jamie Blanks (Urban Legend, Valentine, Storm Warning) and Mark Hartly (Not Quite Hollywood, Machete Maidens Unleashed!) and will definitely prove a delight for fright fans and devotees of vintage movie marketing material. I know I'll be there!

'Horrorpalooza' will be screening from 10:30pm-12am this Saturday (May 28th) at the Astor Theatre (1 Chapel Street, St Kilda). Tickets can be purchased through the St Kilda Film Festival's official website.

Hope to see you maniacs there!

Next MHFS Screening: 'Scanners'

2011-05-14T12:16:00.003+10:00

Afternoon, cretins!

Next week at The Melbourne Horror Film Society marks our first David Cronenberg screening and one of the 'King of Venereal Horror's best early efforts. Here's a hint: it involves a secret sect of psychic warriors, the unforgettable Michael Ironside and an exploding head. You guessed it - we're showing Scanners!

So, if you're a horror fan or even a novice to the cinema of the impossible, please don't hesitate to drop by this Tuesday (the 17th) at 1000 £ Bend and we'll be sure to get the show on the road by 7:30pm!

Remember: their thoughts can KILL!

Sydney Film Festival 2011: 'Freak Me Out' Full Line Up!

2011-05-11T21:21:00.017+10:00

Evening, cretins!

A little while back I reported the current 'Freak Me Out' line up for this year's Sydney Film Festival, consisting of Mutant Girls Squad, Troll Hunter and Tucker & Dale vs Evil (CLICK HERE to read the post). However, today the FULL list was released on the festival website, featuring another six - count em' - SIX titles!

The recent additions are as follows:

Corridor (2010)
Director: Johan Lundborg, Johan Storm
Starring: Emil Johnsen, Yiva Gallon, Peter Stormare
Country: Sweden

Things couldn't be better for Frank, a confident young medical student who lives alone in a nice apartment and has no need for time-consuming distractions such as meaningful interaction with other human beings. That is until he meets Lotte, his needy upstairs neighbour whose unannounced and unwanted visits start getting on his nerves.

End of Animal (2010)
Director: Jo Sung-hee
Starring: Park Sae-kyung, Kim Yeong-Ho, Lee Min-ji
Country: South Korea

On a lonely stretch of road a cab driver and his pregnant passenger, Sun-yeong, pick up a possibly psychic and potentially dangerous young man who counts down to zero and then disappears. At the same instant all electrical and mechanical devices stop working. That's just the start of an utterly riveting drama that finds Sun-yeong encountering a succession of deeply damaged strangers on what she hopes is the path to safety.

Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)
Director: Jason Eisener
Starring: Rutger Hauer, Molly Dunsworth, Gregory Smith
Country: Canada/USA

Cult kingpin Rutger Hauer is baaaack! Starring in the sleaziest piece of gutter trash to hit the screen in years, the 67-year-old is dynamite as an unnamed Skid Row bum who arrives (on a freight train, natch) at the hellhole of Hope Town and doesn't like what he sees. Helped by hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold Abby, the pissed-off pensioner swaps his walking stick for a shotgun and points it in the direction of the nastiest crime family you're ever likely to meet.

Kill List (2011)
Director: Ben Wheatley, Amy Jump
Starring: Neil Maskell, Michael Smiley, MyAnna Buring
Country: UK

Jay's got problems. His marriage to Shel has descended into a screaming match, his £40,000 stash has disappeared and he hasn't worked in eight months. A former soldier who hasn't recovered from a 'stormy' mission in Kosovo, Jay's a hit man and he's hit rock bottom.

Septein (2011)
Director: Michael Tully
Starring: Michael Tully, Robert Longstreet, Onur Tukel, Jim Willingham
Country: USA

Cornelius (played by writer-director Michael Tully), a Christlike figure and brilliant sportsman, has returned after an 18-year absence. Amos creates grotesque art in the barn, while Ezra dons a frock and does the housework. Then there's Wilbur Cunningham, who lives in a tyre in the backyard. When a plumbing problem needs fixing the you-know-what really hits the fan.

Stake Land (2011)
Director: Jim Mickle
Starring: Nick Damici, Conner Paolo, Kelly McGillis
Country: USA

Striking the perfect balance of bloody thrills and pungent social commentary, ace director and co-scripter Jim Mickle (remember that name) centres his tale on teenage orphan Martin and his tough-as-nails vampire-slaying guardian, 'Mister', surviving on the road after America is overrun by bloodthirsty beasts. What separates this film from the pack is the added threat posed by Jebediah, a fanatical Christian fundamentalist whose followers believe the monsters have been sent by the Almighty himself.

The festival kicks off on June 8th and continues through until June 19th.

Once again, visit sff.org.au for more information about booking tickets, venues, etc.

Short Review: 'Drive-In Delirium: Vol.1 & 2' (various)

2011-05-02T21:24:00.009+10:00

There’s something I’ve always adored about old movie trailers. Unlike today’s bloated, spoiler-riddled spiels that do a better job at destroying a movie’s prospects than enticing people to see it, the sincere, almost naive marketing strategies of the 60s, 70s and 80s spawned some of the most memorable film previews ever to appetize a main feature. Ironically enough, film trailers of yesteryear were often far more honest in their intentions than anything seen today at your local multiple, including censor-free lashings of squalid sex and venomous violence!

So, if you’re a nostalgic film nut like me and love it when a distributor manages to unearth a hidden gem or two, then you’re gonna love Umbrella Entertainment’s recently released Drive-In Delirium: the ultimate vintage trailer collection! Spread over 8 discs and clocking in at over 23 hours (yep, you heard right!), this staggering collection presents countless trailers from a wide variety of sub-genres within grindhouse cinema such as biker movies, women in prison movies, revenge flicks, kung-fu films, slasher films, Italian cannibal epics, nazi exploitation and many more, all in their original aspect ratios. Each trailer is allotted into a separate category (the occasional unavoidable cross over occurring from tiem to time) and easily accessed via scene selection menus on each disc as well as being listed within the reverse cover art. Nifty ‘intermission’ tags and ‘snack bar’ promos are also included, featuring some of the funkiest food and drink products this side of a Chucke Cheese commercial.

Volume #1’s segments are:

* Chicks In Chains
* New World Nuggets
* Psychic Terror
* Undead and Loving It!
* Bad Muthas
* Read ‘Em Their Rights
* Ninja Fu
* Nature Gone Wild!
* Stalk ‘N Slash
* An Eye For An Eye
* Shaken Not Stirred
* Pop The Clutch
* Tune In. Turn On. Drop Out.

Volume #2’s segments are:

* Giallo A-Go-Go
* We Are Going To Eat You!
* Don't!
* British Blood And Bosoms
* Sexy For Satan
* A Fist Full Of Euros
* Satan Made Me Do It
* Spooked
* The Creature Wasn't Nice
* Cosmic Carnage & Funked-Up Futures
* Hard Naked Truth

It goes without saying that this cavalcade of coitus and carnage is nothing short of spectacular. If you’re a connoisseur of sinful cinema or even have the slightest appreciation for the magic of movie marketing, Drive-In Delirium is more than worth your time.

Both boxsets can be purchased through Umbrella Entertainment’s official website.

Next MHFS Screening: 'Long Weekend' & 'Body Melt'

2011-04-23T01:26:00.007+10:00

Morning, cretins!

A neat little treat this month for all you local genre fans: The Melbourne Horror Film Society will be screening an Aussie fright DOUBLE FEATURE, consisting of the original superbly chilling Long Weekend followed by the undeniably awesome bio-horror cheese-fest Body Melt! In addition to the aforementioned features there will also be an exclusive showing of The Last Mile - a great little short film by local emerging talent Shannon George. Oh yes, it'll be a night of BBQ and blood sauce aplenty, provided you can handle it.

So come on down to 1000 £ Bend (361 Little Lonsdale St, Melb) this Wednesday at 7:30pm and join me and all the other maniacs in a healthy dose of home grown gore.

Hope to see you there!

Short Review: 'Mirrors 2' (2010)

2011-04-22T22:57:00.006+10:00

In 2008, French “splat pack” filmmaker import Alexandre Aja directed the Kiefer Sutherland horror vehicle Mirrors, a supernatural tale of a murderous spirit that was loosely inspired by the Korean film Into the Mirror. Despite some jaw-dropping (literally) gore sequences the film was almost laughably bad, largely due to copious glaring inconsistencies within the screenplay and a ridiculously over-the-top performance by Sutherland, who seemed to be channelling his character Jack Bauer from 24 on more than a number of occasions.

Three years later arrives this straight-to-video sequel by director Victor Garcia, the man responsible for the god awful Return to House on Haunted Hill and the upcoming Hellraiser: Revelations. Like the original, the film is still backed by Twentieth Century Fox, however after viewing it becomes quite clear no one behind the making of Mirrors 2 really gave much of a damn about the movie they were making.

After his girlfriend dies in a car crash, Max (Nick Stahl) is understandably depressed and seeks the counseling of a professional psychiatrist. His father (William Katt) offers him a job at the Mayflower department store as a security guard and Max accepts, albeit hesitantly. Soon Max begins seeing glimpses of a young female apparition trying to communicate with him from beyond the store’s mirrors. When people connected to the company’s operations start winding up dead, Max finds himself teaming up with local waitress Elizabeth (Emmanuelle Vaugier) in a search to find her missing sister and solve the mystery of the Mayflower mirrors once and for all.

It’s safe to say that right from the get go Mirrors 2 doesn’t take any risks with regard to its plotting, acting, twists, turns or anything that could potentially set it apart from your average horror cash-in. In fact, the film is so formulaic in structure that one could even run the mistake of confusing it for a midday movie with gore. Despite a fleeting reference to its murders, screenwriter Matt Venne’s script makes no connection to the original film whatsoever - at least regard to story or mythology – which in a way is perhaps a wise decision, as Aja’s film continuously broke its own internal logic to the point where it practically self-imploded from stupidity. Funnily enough, even though the sequel’s clear and uncomplicated approach to the material make it an easier movie to understand than its predecessor the result is more yawn educing than it has any right to be. A case of in-name-only recognition? Truthfully, I wouldn’t be surprised.

With regard to the Mirrors 2 cast, Stahl’s languid performance feels more like a reflection (no pun intended) of the inherent banality of the movie than an honest embodiment of his character’s inner turmoil. William Katt slums it all the way through also, as does Vaugier in an utterly insipid portrayal of ‘grief’ that is likely to do her career no favors. Even the victims in the film phone in their pain like it were a rehearsal so it’s difficult to highlight anything positive about a film that takes the expression ‘by the numbers’ as a phrase of pride.

One could argue that going into Mirrors 2 viewers are automatically setting themselves up for disappointment, and perhaps that’s true. However, one thing any filmmaker should at least attempt to do when making a follow up to a moderately successful horror film is to inject it with a healthy dose of enthusiasm, or at the very least conjure up some creative kills for the gorehound demographic. Sadly, neither of these things are attempted here, making this one mirror that should have stayed broken.

Dir: Victor Garcia
Writer: Matt Venne
Cast: Nick Stahl, William Katt, Emmanuelle Vaugier, Evan Jones
Country: USA
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: MA15+

Sydney Film Festival 2011: 'Freak Me Out'!

2011-04-20T23:28:00.012+10:00

Evening, cretins!

As many of you may know, this year marks the Sydney Film Festival's 57th year in operation. A cinematic smorgasbord for all ages and tastes, this superb festival continues to offer up some of the finest examples in film expression from around the world and remains one of the largest and longest running in existence to this day. Also, if it's fright fare you're after, the SFF has got you covered.

Case in point: the 'Freak Me Out' line up. This year's genre selection features some of the most bizarre and eclectic titles seen in the festival's history, not to mention some of the most diverse.

The titles announced so far are as follows:

Mutant Girls Squad (2010)
Director: Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura, Tak Sakaguchi
Starring: Yumi Sugimoto, Yuko Takayama, Suzuka Morita
Country: Japan

You’ve never seen a coming-of-age story like this before. On her sixteenth birthday, mousey schoolgirl Rin discovers she’s part of a mutant clan at war with humans. Suddenly sprouting a Freddy Krueger-like hand and an attitude to match, Rin slips into a spangly silver jumpsuit and joins a fighting force of foxy mutant femmes in a blood-drenched battle for nothing less than the survival of her species. Non-stop comic book carnage doesn’t get much better than this.

Visit the official website.

Troll Hunter (2010)
Director: Andre Ovredal
Starring: Otto Jespersen, Glenn Erland Tosterud, Johanna Morck
Country: Norway

The legendary Scandinavian monster is the star of this scary and funny conspiracy chiller. Presented as surviving footage shot by a student documentary crew, Andre Øvredal’s nail-biter goes deep into the woods with Norway’s secretive Troll Security Service and weaves a complex and surprisingly touching story around the endangered creatures. The Blair Witch Project may have done it first, but The Troll Hunter does it best.

Visit the official website.

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2010)
Directors: Eli Craig, Morgan Jurgenson
Starring: Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk, Katrina Bowden
Country: Canada

In this rib-tickling reversal of spam-in-a-cabin horror movie conventions, Tucker and best buddy Dale are kind-hearted, innocent hillbillies. But try telling that to the college kids camping near their shack in the Appalachians. Convinced they’ve stumbled into The Hills Have Eyes territory, the hysterical visitors decide to eliminate their perceived enemies, with hilariously gruesome results.

Visit the official website.

This year's SFF kicks off on June 8th and concludes on June 19th. The full program will be announced by May 11th - with more freak out films to be added!

For booking details, ticket prices and more information go to sff.org.au.

Short Review: 'Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet' (2009)

2011-04-20T00:19:00.013+10:00

Urban legends have offered our modern society more than just sleepless nights. They have provided us with a sense of context for the world in which we live; a way to understand and come to terms with our most basic of fears so that one can distinguish between what is pure fantasy and what is reality. And while that may sound like a rather pretentious statement consider for a moment one of the main purposes of a horror story is to relieve one’s inherent anxieties about the faceless evils of the world at large. Fictitious they may be, urban legends are far more than simply popular entertainment for the kids.

Then again, Hollywood has always had a knack for exploiting the printed page for its own macabre purposes. Drawing loosely upon a series of real life slayings that occurred in Long Island, New York in 1978, director Frank Sabatella takes the horrors of the real world and transposes them with the over-the-top theatrics of an 80s slasher film and a supernatural-esque tale of revenge to create Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet. But is this an urban legend fright flick worth reading over a campfire in the woods at midnight? I wish I could say yes, however this yawner is more suited to a fluorescent-lit lounge room heated by a gas radiator.

After killing her parents in a fit of unexplainable rage, disturbed teenager Mary ‘Hatchet’ is committed to an insane asylum for immediate treatment. When she is raped by an orderly and her baby taken away by the authorities, the volatile young woman sets off on another rampage, killing everyone in sight before being gunned down by police on her way out of the building. Years later a group of ill fated teens haul up at the same asylum to celebrate ‘blood night’ - the town’s annual recognition of the horrific events – for a non-stop indulgence of booze and babes. But is the murderous Mary really dead? And what’s more, how would she approve of the festivities being held in her honor?

Many horror movies have tried their hand at incorporating renowned urban legends into their storylines (eg, Urban Legend, The Hitcher, Timber Falls, etc) and some have proven more successful than others. Unfortunately, screenwriter Elke Blasi’s initially promising script (from an idea by Sabatella) is quickly marred via a by-the-numbers slasher structure that only loosely integrates the effective back story established in its opening, resulting in a missed opportunity that could have made the film a minor hit. Sabatella’s direction, while visually athletic and slick in all the right places, is often a little too juvenile for its own good and pushes what could have been a straight-ahead horror tale into a far more comedic realm, thus eliminating any suspense created prior to the kills kicking in. Slasher films in on of themselves are fine but Blood Night’s decision to resort to the trappings of the sub-genre’s well worn formula in order to tell its story somewhat undermines an otherwise appealing premise.

With regard to casting, Blood Night also hits a strangely underwhelming wall, despite featuring two sizeable genre vets in the form of Bill Mosely as a cemetery caretaker and Danielle Harris is a surprise partygoer. Neither actor is especially convincing in their performance, nor do they ever appear particularly concerned or terrified by any of the events unfolding throughout the film. A troubled production perhaps? Who knows. I hate to use the term ‘phone in’ but it’s hard to think of any other words that could fit the bill in this instance.

With an initially well thought out prior-evil setting up its feet, only to have them swiftly severed by a subsequently feeble approach, Blood Night is a prime example of a gnarly concept emasculated by short-sighted screenwriting. In the end, if you’re looking for a mildly entertaining albeit ultimately ridiculous slasher flick that piles on the T&A and torn torsos and doesn’t care if the identity of its killer is one of the most ludicrous in the genre’s history, then this monotonous monster is for you.

Dir: Frank Sabatella
Writer: Elke Blasi
Cast: Bill Mosely, Danielle Harris, Nate Dushku, Samantha Facchi
Country: USA
Run Time: 83mins
Rating: R18+

Next MHFS Screening: 'Night of the Demon'

2011-03-24T10:01:00.002+11:00

Morning, cretins!

It's time for a taste of the old and awesome this month at The Melbourne Horror Film Society. Yes sir, on Wednesday 30th March we'll be screening Jacques Tourneur’s 1957 classic Night of the Demon, a film showcasing a stunning directorial vision of doom and gloom only to be marred by the intrusion of studio executive stupidity. Anywho, you'll see what I mean by the movie's close..

As usual, all Melbourne horrorphiles are welcome to congregate at 1000 £ Bend for food and drinks prior to the film kicking off at approximately 7:30pm.

Hope to see you there!

New DR Review: 'Head of the Family'

2011-03-21T23:24:00.004+11:00

Evening cretins!

My latest review for Digital Retribution takes a turn to the family values of mutant siblings to see what lies beneath in Charles Band's Head of the Family. What's that you say? A movie based on a pun? You bet!

CLICK HERE to read it!

Short Review: 'The Collector' (2009)

2011-03-14T13:38:00.007+11:00

Like many Hollywood screenwriters, Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton - the writing duo behind Feast and the arguably lesser batch of Saw sequels (parts IV-VII) - were finally given the chance in 2009 to hone their own brand of macabre mayhem into a fully-fledged feature independent of the films that helped give them their start. At one point serving as a potential prequel to the successful franchise, The Collector was instead retooled into a stand alone story about a would-be thief (Josh Stewart) who undergoes a significant change of heart upon realizing the home he’s chosen to burglarise has also become occupied by a madman, one that appears to be holding the resident family hostage by means of an assortment of gruelling traps and other grisly home-made devices of disfigurement.

But before you can say “isn’t that the same gimmick they used in the Saw series?” you might want to take a step back and give those films some serious credit. For you see, the motivations of the Jigsaw killer are rather detailed and morally complex by comparison, at least with regard to John Kramer’s plight and underlying philosophical intentions toward his ‘subjects’. Not only that each films’ plotline is carefully weaved from beginning to end with the objective of revealing a significant story arch by the time the closing credits roll over, thus bringing to light a greater context for the events witnessed by the audience.

In the case of The Collector (*POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT*) there is no framework of circumstance whatsoever nor is there so much as a potential hint toward the killer’s meaning or motive or a disclosure of his/her identity. And while back story and/or a direct grounds for madness isn’t always necessary for films of this ilk (in fact many times it can be detrimental) The Collector’s complete absence of it may leave many viewers eternally aggravated and ready to crack their DVD in half.

The reason for the comparison is simply to illustrate the significant change in direction undertaken by Dunstan and Melton this time round, especially for a typically story-driven writing team. Thus, when one decides to take away the twists and turns in a serial killer flick, what are you left with? Well, ultimately The Collector is nothing more than a grisly house-of-horrors movie, much like the experience of going on a ghost train at a carnival and being bombarded by shock after shock without the inclusion of context or purpose. Once the films' brutality begins it almost never lets up as the entirety of the second and third acts consist purely of one sadistic mutilation/death after another, some more creative and ghoulish than others but all equally as bloody. Props must be given to cinematographer Brandon Cox and the FX team, however, for creating some of the nastiest and most mean-spirited kills in recent memory and doing so with a sense of energy and vigor that help elevate the film above its modest budget; something not easily achieved for a film so heavy on the grue.

It’s difficult to offer up much more criticism about The Collector, simply for the fact there’s not a lot else to say about a film so sparing of anything resembling a significant story. If Dunstan and Melton’s mission here was to deliver an endless parade of nonsensical violence and entertaining, albeit mindless bloodshed then they did so in spades. However, if it were also their aim to provoke sincere emotion and suspense within that cruelty then they clearly forgot to sharpen the blade well before it sliced the skin.

Dir: Marcus Dunstan
Writer: Marcus Dunstan & Patrick Melton
Cast: Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Madeline Zima
Country: USA
Run Time: 90mins
Rating: R18+

Next MHFS Screening: 'Braindead' (aka 'Dead Alive')

2011-02-07T12:14:00.002+11:00

Morning, cretins!

For all you Peter Jackson fans who thought the now-famous kiwi only rose to cinematic prominence after his adaptation of a certain fantasy novel series it's now time for you to have your eyes, ears and intestines ripped out! That's right, The Melbourne Horror Film Society will be screening the filmmaker's bombastic zombie splatstick comedy Braindead (aka Dead Alive) on February 23rd from 7:30pm at 1000 £ Bend.

Hope to see all you locals there!

New DR Review: 'Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives'

2011-02-06T19:26:00.003+11:00

Evening cretins!

My latest review for Digital Retribution takes a look at the 70s exploitation homage/sendup Ticked-Off Trannies With Knives! What a title indeed. Too bad the movie pretty much blows.

CLICK HERE to read it!

Short Review: 'The Wizard of Gore' (2007)

2011-02-02T15:10:00.003+11:00

As an exploitation emperor, Herschell Gordon Lewis undoubtedly reigns higher than most. In a time when low budget filmmakers working out of Florida were churning out product as often as they cashed their cheques the now effectively retired guerilla filmmaker along with trusty producing partner David F. Friedman fought tooth and nail to bring us some of the most gleefully gruesome flesh and bone masterpieces ever depicted (eg, Color Me Blood Red, The Gruesome Twosome, The Gore Gore Girls, ect), all the while infusing each one with a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek humor as a counterbalance to the copious carnage.

With this in mind, director Jeremy Kasten’s decision to remake the former’s 1970 macabre showcase The Wizard of Gore could have been seen as either a smart move or an innately doomed venture. Unfortunately, the resulting product reflects not one but both outcomes in more or less equal measure.

Montag the Magnificent (Crispin Glover) is a master illusionist; a purveyor of the most grotesque yet breathtaking acts of human endurance ever to be witnessed by a live audience at an underground venue. After attending one of the flamboyant trickster’s live shows, private investigator Edmund (Kip Pardue) is convinced there’s more to the torture acts than meets the eye and begins his own inquiry into the magician’s mystifying lifestyle. When a number of Montag’s young nubile volunteer’s wind up dead the cocky P.I soon discovers that he may in fact be the key ingredient to the swindler’s greatest deception of all.

This 2007 revamp marks the second official retelling of a Lewis film (Tim Sullivan’s 2001 Maniacs being the first) and unlike the clear-cut direction of the original, Kasten and screenwriter Zach Chassler have taken the material into an unusually dense an ultimately unnecessarily convoluted realm that not only disrupts the otherwise enjoyable grand guignol spectacle but also negates any audience identification with the protagonist’s spiraling dilemma. Without giving too much away the script introduces a subplot early on regarding a specific hallucinogenic drug of which Montag employs unknowingly upon his audience as they enter his famed auditorium, the effect of which alters one’s perception of reality and, more specifically, Edmund’s unwilling involvement in the magician’s grand master plan. From this point in the story right through to the end nothing is ever really clear as we become subject to endless bewildering dialogue, photographic misdirection, ambiguous supporting characters and an overall frustratingly vague sense of narrative direction that one can’t help but allow their attention to wander off almost completely.

The confusing nature of the plot is a real shame because there’s a lot to like about The Wizard of Gore’s more baroque aspects. Crispin Glover is uniformly brilliant as the crazed showman, delivering an arguably quirkier embodiment of controlled insanity than Ray Sager’s somewhat stiff approach in the original and leading man Pardue does a surprisingly good job considering the fact his character’s constant neck twitching takes up ninety-percent of the film’s sound design. The level of production value achieved is also admirable and can be seen through the slick cinematography, plentiful costume design and top-notch FX work (bar a few cringe-worthy CG implementations), all of which serve the movie’s joyful sense of twisted extravagance.

Regrettably though, the few positive attributes that do occasionally assist The Wizard of Gore toward its cause are not nearly prominent enough to patch up the unwavering disorder of its story and it is precisely this fatal flaw that prevents it from being the 40’s noir/carnival freak show homage it so clearly wants to be. One can only wonder why the filmmakers opted for such an unnecessarily meandering method of delivery, especially when taking into account the comparably simplistic setup of the original. If anything, such a misconception only highlights the falsehood of the otherwise entertaining magic on display.

Dir: Jeremy Kasten
Writer: Zach Chassler
Cast: Kip Pardue, Bijou Phillips, Crispin Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffery Combs
Country: USA
Run Time: 94mins
Rating: R18+

New DR Review: 'Welcome to Spring Break'

2011-01-29T10:46:00.003+11:00

Morning cretins!

My latest review for Digital Retribution takes a stab at the Umberto Lenzi slasher opus Welcome to Spring Break - one of the master's lesser known Italian-American exploitation numbers.

CLICK HERE to read it!

Joining the Digital Retribution

2011-01-21T17:41:00.010+11:00

Evening, cretins!

Samityville's movie criticism has expanded once again! I have recently joined the staff writing team over at Digital Retribution (formally Terror Australis); a terrific local website with an unparalleled dedication to the promotion and appreciation of genre cinema with a particular focus on all things exploitation. If you aren't already familiar with it, how are you even reading this?!

My contributions will consist mainly of DVD reviews, both of new and old releases, but always with an attention toward the horrific.

CLICK HERE to check out my first review for the site, 1988's Evil Laugh.

Enjoy!

Short Review: 'Autopsy' (2008)

2011-01-21T15:37:00.010+11:00

Horror movies about treacherous hospitals tend to be either highly effective (Halloween II, Session 9) or downright dismal (Asylum, Visting Hours). From a filmmaking point of view the setting itself is one of immense opportunity for genuine atmosphere and unsettling scares; everything from the endlessly desolate hallways and suffering patients to the ghoulish gadgetry employed by doctors and nurses serve toward a picture of perpetual anguish and deep sorrow that emanate from the ground floor up. Certainly more moody than a corporate office space.

With Autopsy, writing partners Adam Gierasch and Jace Anderson (The Toolbox Murders remake, Mortuary, Mother of Tears) made their foray into directorial territory with a story of madness, murder and morgue space overload that, for the most part, hits all the right petrifying painkillers.

The set-up is simple: five teenagers who, after surviving a car accident with a dying man wedged under their wheel are taken to a seemingly vacant hospital on the outskirts of town. Drastically understaffed and short on resources, the team on call gradually begins attending to the shaken kids one by one, only the treatment they receive proves more deadly than dependable.

Any horror fan possessing even the most rudimentary understanding of the nuts and bolts at work in slasher cinema will no doubt sense a degree of banality to Autopsy’s first half, as the scenario isn’t exactly something unknown to the genre’s last half century. However, to Gierasch and Anderson’s credit they manage to infuse their hospital-from-hell yarn with a twisted and enjoyably demented sensibility more reminiscent of a Tales from the Crypt episode than anything more akin to a conventional stalker pic. Instead of pitting the youngsters against a singular killer in individual one-one-one chase sequences with a quick payoff, the ward’s multiple medical executioners (lead by the always reliable Robert Patrick) cunningly lure their prey under the false pretence of care, only to surprise them with a cure for their pain involving more than the prick of a needle. The ‘spinal tap’ sequence in particular is a perfect example.

Another point the film makes in an effort to stand out above the crowd is its dynamic photographic approach and overall resounding presentation to the look of the hospital itself. Evoking much of the hyper-stylized pop art theatrics of Argento’s Suspiria, cinematographer Anthony B. Richmond employs a unconventional lighting scheme rich with primary colors that aid in providing the morbidity of the environment with a surreal sense of fantasy not often found in films of this ilk, much less within the sterilized surrounds of a real life medical facility. Gorehounds will also revel in the top-notch FX work; the aftermath of one death toward the end of the film is literally transformed into set dressing via the use of the character’s internal organs.

If there’s anything significant that lets Autopsy down it’s the occasionally languid pacing of the script and the films’ propensity to allow its unsuspecting adolescents to entirely loose communication with one another, thus making them virtually apathetic to the fact they’ve become patients in the weirdest hospital on the face of the earth. But hey, if there were no such thing as stupid characters making stupid decisions we wouldn’t have slasher films as we know them.

Dir: Adam Gierasch
Writer: Adam Gierasch, Jace Anderson & E.L Katz
Cast: Jessica Lowndes, Robert Patrick, Michael Bowen, Jenette Goldstein
Country: USA
Run Time: 84mins
Rating: MA15+

Contributing 6 Feet Down Under...

2011-01-10T23:15:00.004+11:00

Evening, cretins!

A nifty little note of news today. A couple of months ago I was fortunate enough to be enlisted as a regular contributor to 6 Feet Down Under - a great local website run by genre fan Adam Knehans, committed to promoting everything horror happening around the country. My contributions will consist primarily of original articles written with regard to the horror genre, detailing my thoughts on particular subjects of interest (i.e., things that annoy me or excite me) and other such personal reflections upon the breed of cinema we all know and love.

Ben Buckingham, the proprietor of Northcote's awesome Cinecult303 film club, will also have articles published on a monthly basis.

For a taste of things to come, check out my first piece HERE.

Enjoy!

Artwork of the Insane

2011-01-10T11:17:00.002+11:00

Morning, cretins!

Following up almost immediately from the release of the official trailer for John Carpenter's The Ward comes the first official poster, distributed yesterday from Warner Bros pictures.

The design consists of what is essentially a modified production still (complete with deep blue photo filter) of Amber Heard hiding up against a tree, now made to be looking over her shoulder at a shadowy corridor in the distance. Admittedly, the image isn't exactly a work of art; something I find somewhat disappointing both as a Carpenter fan and a movie poster enthusiast.

Then again, mainstream movie artwork hasn't exactly proven to be terribly imaginative these last couple of decades.

For more information about The Ward, visit The Official John Carpenter.com

A Trailing Peek at 'The Ward'!

2011-01-07T23:12:00.006+11:00

Evening, cretins!

If only you could see the ridiculous smile tearing across my face right now...

That's right. After hell knows how many months of waiting, the official trailer for John Carpenter's The Ward is finally here and I can't contain my excitement! Sure, the compilation of shots is generic as hell and the "Gotcha!" shock sound effects are tiresome to say the least, but goddammit this is my favorite director's RETURN TO HORROR and I'm giggling like a school girl at her first dance social.

Well, maybe not quite like a school girl but you get the idea.

The Ward is still seeking a theatrical distribution date.

Trailer courtesy of Wicked Channel.

Next MHFS Screening: 'Candyman'

2011-01-07T11:42:00.006+11:00

Morning, cretins!

Listen up, Clive Barker fans! Our first screening to kick off the new year for The Melbourne Horror Film Society is Bernard Rose's gothic slasher pic 'Candyman', scheduled for January 19th, 7:30pm at the city's fantabulor 1000 £ Bend.

Still impressive to this day, the 1992 filmic adaptation of Barker's short story 'The Forbidden' is far and away one of the best horror films to have survived the decade and still stands as modern masterpiece of the genre.

Hope to see all you locals there!

Samityville's Worst Films of 2010!

2010-12-31T18:15:00.051+11:00

Morning, cretins!

And now it's time to hold your breath...for the worst. While 2010 may have provided us with a few golden works of the grotesque it also dished out plenty of epic failures, some of which left audiences in a state of complete disbelief as to how they manged to endure their cinematic awfulness. No matter how you slice it, not everything in horror is delightfully demented. In fact, that's rarely the case.

Featured here is my bottom 5 for the year, each an abomination to the word 'horror' as we know it.

5. The Wolfman (remake)

No doubt the movie of the year to have rotted away in development/production/post-production/release hell for the longest period of time, Universal's 21st century redo of the great 1941 Lon Chaney Jr landmark was undoubtedly doomed from the beginning. If fans of the infamous monster weren't concerned enough upon first announcement of the revamp then they were certainly given reason to be fearful as the continual directorial changes, musical re-scoring and endless pending release dates poured in, all of which contributed to the impression of a movie so unsure of itself that any enjoyment of its potential attributes seemed virtually impossible. When it finally came time for audiences to see the final product their suspicions were ultimately confirmed; the overwhelming sense of apathy the film had toward its own raison d'etre impeded upon almost every aspect of its production, resulting in one of the year's most unbearably boring misfires.

4. 30 Days of Night: Dark Days

As is the problem with most sequels, the challenge to better the original is practically impossible. And while the 2007 filmic adaptation of Steve Niles' spectacular graphic novel wasn't perfect by any means, it was by far one of the most exciting and viscerally impressive vampire romps the genre had seen in a long time. Needless to say, the same could not be said for this wholly unnecessary, deeply uninterested followup that not once attempted to make itself in any way distinguishable from the glout of other direct-to-video bloodsucker stinkers polluting Blockbuster store shelves. Despite an attempt at creating a somewhat emotionally layered protagonist, the dull urban setting, nonsensical villain and dreadful CGI gore FX were what ultimately sank this lazy attempt at a quick cash-in, regardless if the foxy Diora Baird ran around blasting an uzi for 90 minutes.

3. Lost Boys 3: The Thirst

After the disaster that was Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, hope was low for any additional entry in the series to even come close to bettering the original. And even though this threequel managed to bring back the beloved Frog Brothers into the bloody fold, one could not ignore the feeling of self-parody that pervaded so strongly throughout the entirely of this jokey embarrassment and the detrimental result it had on every aspect of its cringe-worthy disposition. Corey Feldman's hilariously ridiculous performance, while undoubtedly self aware, was too trying and awkward to be entertaining and Jamison Newlander simply looked lost amid all the madness. The film also featured without a doubt the most unthreatening central vampire performance in the history of the sub-genre. As much as I adore the 87' brat pack flick, there comes a time to let nostalgia rest in peace.

2. Evil Things

The opening title of the 2010 Hello Darkness Film Festival was not only the worst on an otherwise great program but also had the attending audience in stitches - unintentionally. The painfully formulaic Blair Witch-meets-REC-meets-My Little Eye-meets-every-other-shaky-cam-horror-movie-in-existence knock-off was a strain on patience from start to finish, never once endeavoring to divert attention away from its uninspired state of mind. Wincingly ametuer production values, horrible performances and an 'I can't believe that's the best they could come up with' ending left me groaning in resentment that I'd spent $21 dollars on this, bar none, the most forgettable movie of the year. Low-budget horror at its most criminal.

1. Legion

Every once in a while a movie comes along that makes you wonder how it ever got made, not because of production logistics or confrontational content but with regard to the filmmakers and their understanding of what makes for good entertainment. For any actor, producer or studio exec who thought for a second that this ludicrously incoherent, apocalyptic mishmash could have played well at all, much less garner an appreciative audience...I would love to meet you and pick your brain over a stiff drink. Seriously. Almost every element of director Scott Charles Stuart's film is hopelessly inept; from the atrocious performances (Dennis Quid really needs a new agent) and asinine villains to an aura of pretension so thick it could have rivaled a Dan Brown novel - and won. Theoretically speaking, if God really had the urge to punish the entire human race, wouldn't he have just thrown down a giant meteorite or set the world afire in one fell swoop instead of hunting us down one by one under the guise of a lanky ice cream truck driver? Surely someone must have polished the script at least once before this overblown, big-budget headache was green lit? Who am I kidding...that would have required some intelligent thought, of which this film had none.

What say you, cretins?

Samityville's Best Films of 2010!

2010-12-27T11:40:00.105+11:00

Morning cretins!

This year marked the first year in a new decade of horror, and what a varied year it turned out to be. Once again we were privy to a cinematic sea of endless American remakes, unnecessarily higher-budgeted sequels and more 3D movies than even William Castle could have conjured up. And while there were no doubt some undeniably killer pics that made their debut on our screens (and DVD/BluRay players) there were also more than the genre's fare share of disappointments, many of which dropped the ball in the final reel to frustrating results. The good, the bad and the ugly...2010 had a little of everything in bloody spades.

As most genre fans will probably attest, the good was (for the most part) easily siftable through the bad and compiled here is the first half of my two-part installment roundup. What was worth seeing, you ask? Read on to find out...

10. Daybreakers

Three Twilight films, a True Blood TV series and countless tween-targeted melodramatic vampire novels later, many horror fans the world over began clamoring for a return to the more vicious, unforgiving bloodsuckers of the past. And while it may not have been picture perfect on all counts (eg, the wildly out of place character of 'Elvis', uncomfortably played by the great Willem Dafoe), Queensland natives Michael and Peter Spierig still managed to deliver a uniquely distopian spin on a well worn sub-genre by fusing several conceptually intriguing ideas and elements of science fiction with all the hallmarks of a violent, blockbuster romp to entertaining effect. The film also worked well as a subversive comment on social class systems, using the creatures of the night as a sly metaphor for the consumption of the weak by the powerful and those wielding the corporate sword. Intelligence and popcorn in equal measure.

9. The Crazies (remake)

The first of three remakes on this year's list (and let's be honest, there had to be at least one), Brek Eisner's redo of George Romero's socially-minded original aimed itself at an entirely different audience and temperament by leaving much of the potentially relevant commentary at the door in favor of thrills, spills and an all round adrenaline-fueled chase scenario more than worthy of your time. And while the straightforward approach may have alienated more seasoned fans, the movie worked perfectly as a sign of our troubling 21st century times and the state of perpetual paranoia inherent within terrorism-targeted territories. The only drawbacks proved to be a slightly sub-par screenplay that lacked more attentive character development, particularly with regard to leads Timothy Olyphant and Radha Mitchell, both of whom still managed to deliver fine performances.

8. The Last Exorcism

Marketed like it was going out of style and with name horror filmmaker Eli Roth in tow as producer, Danial Stamm's directorial debut had a lot of industry clout behind it but thankfully the resulting yarn warranted most of the illustrious attention it received. The Exorcist-lite tale of a hypocritical preacher set to purge a young farm girl of her supposed 'possession' utilized its documentary style effectively and created a strong sense of intrigue and character suspicion throughout, only to have it ultimately defeated via a lousy ending that made no sense whatsoever. Despite the last minute downfall, this nifty little shocker was both freaky and thoughtful in even doses and boasted one of the best newcomer performances of the year.

7. Monsters

Melancholy, haunting and poignant. These are the words I can best describe this semi-sci-fi-horror-cum-heartfelt-drama set amid a not too distant future of alien invasion. The pseudo-District 9 inspired plot was simply a cover for the more emotionally resonant themes of the screenplay and the intensely detailed focus on its two main characters during their existential search for a human connection amid the insane world that surrounds them. It was a shame in many respects that the film was marketed the way it was but for anyone receptive to its noble intentions it proved to be one of the more pleasant surprises of the year, if not completely accommodating to all tastes.

6. Buried

In my opinion, Rodrigo Cortez deserves a serious high five for the casting of the underrated Ryan Reynolds in a role that could have made or maimed his American directorial debut. While not strictly a horror movie per se', the sheer level of claustrophobic dread and intense atmosphere of hopelessness that fueled this nifty little thriller helped make it one of the darker excursions into human desperation the multiplex had seen in many a year and served up an ending so nihilistic I could hear gasps coming from several rows back in the theater. Aside from Reynold's impressive one-man-show performance, the film also succeeds as a result of its incredible technical prowess and the way in which the filmmakers managed to sustain a visually interesting 90 minutes entirely from within the confines of a wooden coffin. Shame on you, Lions Gate for treating this one the way you did...

5. Frozen

Somewhat similar to Buried in its exploitation of its "what if?" scenario (albeit with more scenery abound), Adam Green's sophomore effort was almost a direct reversal of the visceral madness and goofball comedy so prevalent in his previous film Hatchet, this time having opted to tell a tale of epic human oversight and the devastating results experienced by a trio of unsuspecting youths forced to face the reality of an untimely demise. A thankfully likable cast of characters coupled with a frighteningly believable setup and (mostly) credible actions all contributed toward making this straightforward survival horror a bare bones exercise in good old-fashioned suspense and a solid example of how a film doesn't need explosive production values in order to sustain watchability. My only complaint: those wolves were a little too convenient, even for the woods...

4. Let Me In (remake)

When the newly re-crowned Hammer Studios announced it was set to make its belated return to our screens with a remake of Sweden's internationally lauded vampire romance Let the Right One In, 99.99% of film buffs said it couldn't be done. As it turned out, writer/director Matt Reeves not only managed to expand upon the lurid details merely hinted at in the original but also retooled the material toward a more distinctly horror/thriller sensibility while still retaining the former's emotional complexity and inescapable bleakness. The extraordinary talents of both Kodi Smirt-McPhee and Chloe Moretz were consistently stunning to watch, especially when considering the subtlety with which they played their roles and how much of the story's emotional weight rested upon their shoulders. Also notable was Richard Jenkins in a terrifically somber performance as 'The Father' forced to kill in order to provide his offspring with her much needed sustenance. Unfortunately, this little gem was unfairly boycotted by the majority of genre fans, resulting in a lukewarm box office and a limited theatrical release.

3. Piranha 3D (remake)

Joe Dante's 1978 satiric original has become a classic in its own right, not just for its B-movie charms but also for the wit and knowing absurdity of John Sayles' screenplay. And while 'splat pack' Frenchman Alexandre Aja opted not to carry over a shred of the original's social commentary, this 21st century version ended up serving as a near pitch-perfect homage to the more cheeseball, splatter chunk sensibilities so pervasive throughout the majority of 1980s sex comedies and pop horror exploitation. Not once during its brisk 90 minute running time did it ever take itself seriously, nor did it try to be anything more than a bombastic bachelor party bulging to the brim with boobs, blood and brain matter - and not the intellectual kind. Moreover, the impressive cast the films' producers managed to cull together, considering the material on show, was nothing short of astonishing. Pure trashy fun.

2. Amer

As I mentioned earlier this year in my review of Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani's stunning giallo tribute, this is one film I still struggle to summarize, not because I don't know what to say but because I feel there is no way I can ever do the movie sincere justice through the use of the English language. And while that might sound pretentious as all hell, its the only way I can describe the effect this movie had - and still has - on my imagination. While arguably devoid of any real story (at least in the traditional sense), this is one of the few examples of cinema as art; a pure expression of heightened visual and aural language designed specifically to evoke an emotional reaction from an audience and challenge the rules of conventional logic by which we live our lives. The love and respect shown for the films that inspired it was also admirable, made even more apparent through the directing duo's willingness to add their own stylistic touches to established cliche's while still abiding by their classic framework. To this day, even when I think back to the film festival screening I attended I get a cool chill of satisfaction up my spine.

1. The Loved Ones

And here it is: my favorite horror movie of the year - and it's Australian! Not since Greg Mclean's Wolf Creek have I been so utterly floored by a native genre pic as I was with director Sean Byrne's debut filmic footprint, something rarely achieved in my compulsive fan boy brain. For the majority of local film critics, The Loved Ones provided a much needed reality check to those who largely considered the genre unworthy of serious analytical attention and gave hardcore fans a knowing tribute to their favorite shockers as well as a uniquely personal spin on a familiar tale while making sure to check all other boxes with a bloody red marker. The sincerity with which Byrne infused his screenplay and his attention toward the depiction of burgeoning adolescence within the landscape of a small country town and the resulting sense of isolation and alienation that can so often dictate one's emotions - in this case to the point of madness - are what helped elevate the film above its initially formulaic set up and into a more wholly emotional realm. And despite all the films' grisly theatrics, it was ultimately the affecting performances by Xavier Samuel and Robin McLeavy (not to mention a marvelous John Brumpton) combined with the talents of a young director so obviously confident in his abilities that made this macabre mini-masterpiece the demented delight that it is.

What say you, cretins?

Something's Fishy Here...

2010-12-26T10:04:00.025+11:00

Afternoon, cretins.

First of all, I'm not one to go on a rant. Those who know me will probably attest that I generally keep the majority of my thoughts to myself, only ever contributing serious opinion if something happens to hit a nerve of contention within me and I feel my reaction must be heard. Ultimately, I'm a listener, not a yacker. However, some things really DO piss me off, especially when it comes to movies.

Case in point: the Piranha (2010) region 4 DVD release.

Having been such a monumental fan of Alexandre Aja's film since it hit theaters earlier this year, I began counting down the days - literally - until its eventual DVD release here in Oz, much like a little kid waiting for Christmas. When I purchased it only 3 days ago I was amped. Wired. Schizo-psyched beyond my wildest dreams. When I got home I poured myself a cup o' Joe, put the disc in my player, parked my ass on the couch and started watching...

...then suddenly something happened...

Transfer as it appears at 07:10 (2:40:1).

Transfer as it appears one frame later at 07:10 (1:78:1).

As the counter ticked over to 07:10 the films' aspect ratio abruptly changed from its original 2:40:1 format to a more standard 1:78:1 widescreen, automatically cropping significant portions of the picture from both the left and right sides of the frame. My youthful excitement quickly turned to confused rage as I began swearing out loud at the screen, causing my roommate to poke her head around the lounge room doorway in disbelief. Sweating profusely and quickly falling short of breath I snagged the DVD remote and began skipping chapters, only to discover the ratio hiccup was inherent for the remainder of the movie until the end credits.

The first thoughts that came into my mind were "What the f#ck happened? How could they so blatantly disregard the films' original picture format?" Admittedly, the technical specs on the back of the box art did list the film as being presented in the 1:78:1 format, however I still bought a copy hoping it were a printing mistake. And even though the film was in 3D when initially released in theaters, surely this would have had no baring on the treatment of the aspect ratio when it came time to transfer the print to DVD? Who knows. The bottom line is: it's a faulty product.

Interestingly, the local BluRay version retains the film's intended 2:40:1 format, leading me to assume it's only an issue for the DVD batches (see Digital Retribution's review for more information). Also, Australia has received the film on home video well before the slated US street date of January 11th 2011, making in curious to see if the problem repeats itself in foreign countries.

Ultimately though if you have any technical knowledge about filmmaking at all or the basics of DVD authoring you'd be crazy not to pick up on this GLARING misstep. For those of you planning on buying a copy locally you're better off getting yourself the BluRay version or watching it on a friend's hi-def player instead. For a movie I was looking forward to so much this is nothing short of an epic fail and something that cannot be forgiven or forgotten any time soon.

Oh, and I'm still waiting on a reply to my email to Roadshow Entertainment...

*cough*REFUND!*cough*

Merry AXEmas!

2010-12-26T01:02:00.004+11:00

To all those naughty little kids out there, you better watch out...or else that axe in your Daddy's stocking won't be used as a present I can tell you.

"PUNISH!"

Slippin' Out For the Holidays...

2010-12-16T00:50:00.003+11:00

...but shall return on Christmas day!

Until then, stay sick cretins.

- Sam

Melbourne Horror Film Society

2010-12-09T21:08:00.009+11:00

Evening, cretins!

For those of you living in Melbourne you may have heard of a neat little organization called The Melbourne Horror Film Society; a gathering of rabid genre fans who indulge their love of the macabre by way of regular movie screenings and fright fare-related chitchat on a monthly basis at the city's £1000 Bend. If you haven't heard about it, there's something seriously wrong with you. Seriously wrong.

Founded by friends Bob Fynan and Matt O'Neil, MHFS has been entertaining fans since January of this year and has proved successful enough to return once again with a full program for 2011. Before the year's end, however, December's screening of F W Murnau's Nosferatu should prove extra special with an accompanying live score by Melbourne electronica artist Worng. Neat stuff!

So what are you waiting for, cretins? Get on out and support MHFS by joining up for a Full Membership ($75 for 12 consecutive screenings) or a Mini Membership ($20 for 3 consecutive screenings) and take part in the madness with like-minded freaks such as me!

For more information visit:
The Melbourne Horror Film Society official website
Facebook Page
Twitter feed

A 'Hatchet' To Your TV Set!

2010-12-01T12:35:00.011+11:00

Afternoon, cretins!

Some cool news this morning for Victor Crowley fans! As the first unrated independent horror film to be exhibited by a major theater chain in more than 25 years, only to be pulled from screens just mere days after its release, Hatchet II is set to play on VOD on Time Warner and Comcast systems in the United States on December 1st, 2010. And yes, it will be shown in its original unrated, uncensored cut as per the Dark Sky theatrical release.

For all of you who didn't get to experience Adam Green's sequel to his own 2006 indie hit in theaters earlier this year (count me in that category, courtesy of my geographical location) this news should at least provide fans with some degree of satisfaction after what proved to be an unfortunate failed distribution experiment. For us local genre junkies, however, the wait to see the film is still a long one and probably won't be quenched until its belated Blu-ray/DVD release sometime next year.

*Sigh*

Short Review: 'Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield' (2007)

2010-11-26T03:55:00.018+11:00

Half-baked true crime biopics are made all too often these days. Just walk into your local video store and scope the horror section’s endless array of direct-to-DVD serial killer stinkers, the majority of which are helmed by either the unstoppable King of Krap (aka Ulli Lommel) or another low rent gun-for-hire hoping to cash in on the name recognition of a convicted felon. The infamous activities of Ed Gein have been highlighted previously by several Hollywood productions and Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield is but the latest (and arguably worst) attempt to reaffirm the deceased offender’s undeniable position in modern day popular culture.

In the small quiet town of Plainfield, Wisconsin, Ed Gein (Kane Hodder) exists in a state of increasing depression following the recent death of both his mother and brother, the latter of which he held in almost sacred regard. But there’s more to old Ed than just the appearance of a lonely farmer residing on the outskirts of town; he also likes to rob the local cemetery of its various corpses and use the bodies as a means of fashioning his house - and himself - in a gruesome display of flesh, bone and other such human waste. Meanwhile, the local police force led by the Sheriff (Timothy Oman) and Deputy Mason (Shawn Hoffman) lead an investigation into a number of recent homicides in the area, eventually leading them to implicate Gein as the prime suspect.

Of all the sub-genres within horror the true crime biopic is more often than not the lousiest, both in terms of entertainment value and filmmaking innovation. Regardless of what moral stance one may possess prior to watching a film about the life and times of a convicted killer, director Michael Feifer’s drudgingly lackluster, bottom-of-the-barrel depiction of madness is simply too lazy in its disposition and sensibility that chances are you’ll eject the DVD from your player afterwards with no impression at all of the man in question. The dreariness beset by the screenplay and its persistently languid pacing all but nullify any potential interpretative foundation the movie could have had had it attempted a more exploratory approach to Gein’s psychosis.

Speaking of the maniac, enter the casting of fan boy favorite Mr Kane Hodder. Synonymous for his encapsulation of Jason Vorhees in several of the Friday the 13^th films, the near 7ft tall stuntman with scars aplenty is simply too dissimilar in appearance from the real Gein to make his performance in any way physically unnerving, despite a few effectively solemn moments in the films’ first third. But as hard as Hodder tries he just doesn’t possess the astute acting chops required to pull off the subtle persona of a man deeply haunted by personal tragedy and driven to commit unspeakable horrors, despite the veteran’s long affiliation with onscreen brutality. A prime example of casting for fan consideration only.

Another serious misstep on behalf of the film is the significant liberties with which it takes to its source material. So many of the basic facts (i.e., Gein’s personal history, the details of his victims, the police investigation, etc) are inexplicably thrown out the window, largely in favor of an entirely fabricated and futile subplot involving the Deputy’s own personal search for answers behind the murderous goings on. It also doesn’t help that the majority of Hoffman’s delivery is like watching someone sleepwalk aimlessly in front of a camera for ninety minutes.

Ultimately, if you’re looking for a classic rendition of the Ed Gein story or a thoroughly reflective approach to one of society’s most notorious periods in criminal investigation you’re better off checking out Jeff Gillen & Alan Ormsby’s far superior 1974 flick Deranged or even the Steve Railsback headlined interpretation from 2000 than opting for this lethargic exercise. If only the filmmakers could have taken a que or two from the likes of Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer and fashioned their movie toward the intellectually gruesome rather than the mind-numbingly tiresome then they might have had something interesting on their hands.

If only...

Dir: Michael Feifer
Writer: Michael Feifer
Cast: Kane Hodder, Shawn Hoffman, Prescilla Barnes, Timothy Oman
Country: USA
Run Time: 89mins
Rating: R18+

Hello Darkness...Hello Good Times!

2010-11-24T23:54:00.023+11:00

Evening, cretins!

As you may have noticed, I’ve been more than a little absent from Samityville lately (mainly due to my preparation for a TAFE interview, which went well by the way) and for that I sincerely apologise. However, let’s kick things back into action today with my personal overview of something very special indeed...

Established in 2009 by Rachael Cotra and Will Pyett, this year marked the 2^nd consecutive year for Hello Darkness – Melbourne’s first horror/thriller film festival! Unlike many mainstream festivals, Cotra and Pyett set out to make their event particularly special by challenging what the majority of folks consider ‘horror’ to be in today’s oversaturated climate of big budget remakes, unending sequels and direct to DVD downers. Be it internationally renowned indies or local fright fare from our very own backyard, Hello Darkness aimed to support it at all costs.

The festival’s sophomore effort was this year hosted at Greater Union Cinemas, Russel Street and featured a total line up of 11 films from 9 different countries, the majority of which were new releases yet to secure a theatrical distribution. Ranging from the ultra-low budget to the modestly priced, the program proved both rich and diverse not only in terms of filmmaking sensibilities but also vision and capacity for audience interpretation. Given my full work schedule at the time I was only able to make it to 5 of the films on show and what follows is a brief summary of my thoughts...

Evil Things (2010)

Dir: Dominic Perez
Country: USA

As part of young Miriam (Elyssa Mersdorf)’s 21st birthday celebration her aunt Gail (Gail Cadden) has decided to lend she and four friends her beautiful country house for an entire weekend. Setting out on the long drive into the woods, the close-knit group are soon followed by an ominous black van that seems intent on tracking their every move, so much so it begins to fuel the 20-somethings with genuine fear of the driver(s) real motives. After finally managing to elude the suspicious vehicle the group soon arrive at their location and begin their shenanigans, albeit unawares that someone is still watching them in the shadows...

Being the first film off the rank I wish I could say more favorable things about this flick, but at the same time I can’t sit here and tell you that you should all run out and see this directorial debut by Dominic Perez because that would be like telling a child there’s a brand new episode of their favourite cartoon playing on television when in fact it’s the same old lame repeat from the week before.

That’s right, cretins, Evil Things is more than just a textbook study in every conceivable cliché’ plaguing the worst of ‘shaky cam’ horror movies; it’s a virtual signpost of what not to do when you’re making your first feature: don’t do what’s been done a thousand times before! Ripping off everything from The Blair Witch Project, My Little Eye, Diary of the Dead, REC and any other hand held opus you can poke a stick at, the sheer lack of initiative on behalf of Perez and co. to even attempt anything remotely innovative or inspired not only hurts the languid proceedings but in fact highlights just how derivative and devoid of entertainment the final product really is.

In the end, the painfully uneventful script, laughable performances and pedestrian direction (not to mention one of the worst endings I’ve seen this side of The Descent 2) fatefully positioned this clunker at the forefront of a restless and unhappy audience who were already heading for the exits well before the end credits.

Outcast (2010)

Dir: Colm McCarthy
Country: UK/Ireland

In the underprivileged urban housing estates of Britain’s lower-class, Petronella (Hanna Stanbridge) and her sexually repressed boyfriend Fergal (Niall Bruton) struggle to sustain their relationship under the watchful eye of the boy’s puritanically overbearing mother Mary (Kate Dickie), a strong believer in ancient Celtic practices. Meanwhile, two mysterious travelers from Ireland (James Nesbitt and Ciaran McMenamin) adept in ritualistic magic are on the hunt for a hideous inhuman beast preying on local civilians and wreaking havoc across the surrounding townships. When the creature is seen working its way toward the young boy and his mother, its sinister motives bring to light both a dark and unimaginable secret of evil ancestry and an inescapable future for both Fergal and his one and only love.

Managing to elude the exposure of any real specific production details or the kind of typical press release you would normally associate with festival entries, Colm Mccarthy’s nifty directorial debut (making its Australian premiere at Hello Darkness) was a pleasant surprise indeed. This deep-seededly dark, strangely melancholy horror/drama is a strikingly unique tale of family dynamics, Irish folklore and yes, the undying power (and danger) of love, all of which are told through the guise of an arthouse-style monster movie but with an emphasis on character development first and foremost.

Interestingly, Outcasts’ first half is not so much concerned with the gradual generation of its monster but rather McCarthy focuses his efforts on creating an intensely oppressive, psychologically threatening atmosphere inhabited by fundamentally scarred characters besieged by their own personal demons and whom exist within a perpetual state imminent disaster from the very start. Darran Tiernan’s cinematography is beautifully gloomy throughout and the performances are often alarmingly well crafted (especially Dickie) and help lend an emotional weight to a story that could have wound up being rather preposterous to say the least.

Definitely one to keep your eye out for come distribution time.

Wound (2010)

Dir: David Blyth
Country: New Zealand

This one has a tricky synopsis to surmise coherently so I’ve attempted to make it read as simply as possible. Told primarily from the point of view of psychologically damaged child abuse victim Susan (Kate O’Rourke), we follow her struggle to come to terms with her past through a series of nightmares and hallucinations (?) that involve the resurrection of long lost murderous daughter Tanya (Te Kaea Beri), the brutal killing of her parents in a house fire and many an S&M fiend in pig masks threatening her with a terrible truth she must finally come to terms with…I think.

Striving so painfully hard for a psychologically complex, Lynch-esque symphony of surrealism and disturbing thrills, Wound is one of those movies with highly artistic aspirations running through its veins but when it finally comes time to pull off such a cinematic sculpture the skills on display are obviously misdirected, resulting in a bombardment of horrendously conceived visual mishmashes and endlessly feeble attempts at a framework of dream logic that more closely resemble the pretentious efforts of an Ulli Lommel opus than anything remotely reminiscent of the aforementioned master’s oeuvre. Issues such as mental illness, bondage, incest and revenge are thrown haphazardly into the mix with repeated endeavors to root the story in pseudo-Freudian theory (illustrated through a number of uproariously laughable FX sequences) but are never subtle at any point, nor are they portrayed with any filmmaking dexterity whatsoever, thus eradicating any potential sincerity.

Thankfully, the one saving grace of the film is O’Rourke’s impressive central performance, even if she does appear befuddled by the majority of goings on around her during its 76 minute running time. Director Blyth has often stated his disdain for the banality of much of today’s mainstream cinema, although somehow I don’t think he intended on his audience groaning, yawning or keeping consistent track of the time during the entirety of his ‘transgressive‘ movie’s Australian premiere either.

Red, White & Blue (2010)

Dir: Simon Rumley
Country: USA

Erica (Amanda Fuller) lives rent-free in a local Texas boarding house but spends her nights trawling the bars and beds of Austin in search of willing male partners seeking sexual gratification. Damaged and emotionally withdrawn, she goes about her life devoid of any dreams or aspirations until the day she meets ex-marine and hardware store worker Nate (Noah Taylor), a quietly imposing yet genuinely considerate loner with a particular interest in Erica’s safety and well being. When former sexual partner and wannabe rock star Franki (Marc Senter) discovers a terrible secret implicating a life/death situation as a result of Erica’s careless actions he quickly becomes fueled by rage and thus, sets out on a path of revenge. However, when Nate discovers the extent of the young hothead’s actions he may be in for a fate far worse than he could have ever imagined...

There’s something inescapably captivating about watching films that spend a significant amount of screen time slowly exploring the lives of a small group of emotionally complex characters amid an atmosphere of mounting dread thick enough to soak a bath towel’s worth of sweat from your palms as you unbearably await their impending demise. And while the basic story might not be anything particularly original, director Simon Rumley’s thoughtful, subtle direction and purposeful screenplay – combined with some of the most brave and convincing performances in recent memory – firmly position Red, White & Blue as a melancholy revenge drama far and above your usual semi-exploitation fare.

Every nuance of the films’ characters is so skillfully defined through the raw honesty with which they are played, especially the courageous Fuller in a role so (intentionally) ambiguous it almost defies judgment alongside Australia’s own Noah Taylor who creates one hell of an imposing psychopath. The movie also serves as a poignant reflection on suburban life in the annals of the American south and how the greatest horrors are often those bred internally as a result of wrongful decisions made and the frenzy of violence that so often follows in their wake.

Certainly not for the faint of heart but absolutely worth seeking out if you like your cinema bold, brazen and ballsy.

Amer (2009)

Dir: Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani
Country: France/Belgium

A visual and aural feast told in three distinct parts, Amer focuses on the childhood, adolescence, and womanhood of young French beauty Ana as she undergoes the ordeal of her imminent maturity, battling in tandem with her sexual impulses and the hidden horrors of her own mind.

Let it be known that part of me is hesitant to even attempt a review of this film, let alone surmise it in so few words and do the material justice. No matter how I choose to look at it, the experience of watching Amer (that’s French for ‘bitter’ by the way) is both an intensely cerebral experience as well as an all together sensory explosion, proving that both frames of mind can harmoniously exist pitch-perfectly in one movie.

Taking their obvious worship for Italy’s golden era of giallo films and combining it with the wild expressionism of an Edvard Munch painting, Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani effortlessly portray an astonishingly beautiful, surrealistic nightmare so meticulously crafted in its intentions that by simply watching it feels as if one were conscious during a most vivid dream; a display all together gorgeous yet strangely disturbing…at least it was for me! The skill with which the films’ cinematic language and technique is executed is beyond perfection as it consistently engulfs your attention through endless visual splendor and aural complexity, both of which are immensely unnerving and seductively pleasurable in equal measure and help create an intimate portrait of sexual awakening and tormented lust told exclusively from a female point of view.

Speaking of the feminine perspective, Amer’s key reversal of gender specifics immediately distinguishes the movie as far more than just a fan boy homage to the films that inspired it; proof that its makers weren’t afraid to rebel against what many would consider sacred genre convention whilst still retaining the utmost respect for their cinematic forefathers. In other words, Cattet and Forzani never betray their films’ inspirational roots, but they also don’t let them dictate their creative boundaries either.

When all is said and done, this stunning tableau of spaghetti horror reverence is worth more than I could ever put into words. I only hope local distributors are shrewd enough in their judgment to see it the same way and give the movie the release attention it so rightfully deserves.

Essential viewing on all counts.

In Love with 'The Loved Ones'

2010-11-04T22:32:00.024+11:00

Morning, cretins.

For those of you who are loyal enough (or crazy enough, depending on your point of view) to follow my ramblings here at Samityville, you're probably more than a little aware of my unbridled eagerness for Australia to produce more quality horror films. As any genre fan will attest, rarely are we responsible or widely known for stellar fright flicks and when one finally does come around it's either slapped with a limited theatrical run or shelved directly to DVD (the latter being the case 99% of the time). One could argue much of the struggle faced by local filmmakers is a result of lack of investor confidence or limited government funding for genre product but when all is said and done we're ultimately considered a minor player in worldwide horror output.

With that said, it is my sincere pleasure to report that salvation may be in fact be lurking around the corner for the fear community. Oh yes, dear reader, I am referring to this week's theatrical release of director Sean Bryne's wonderfully demented and emotionally resonant debut The Loved Ones; far and away THE BEST horror movie to come out of Oz since Greg McLean's equally impressive Wolf Creek in 2005. Already a hit on the international festival circuit, this magnificently macabre tale tells the story of high school senior Brent Mitchell (Xavier Samuel), an average teenager with a painful past who is one day asked to the school formal by troubled outcast Lola (Robin McLeavy) but rejected due to him already having a girlfriend. Prepared to do anything to satisfy his daughter's desires, deranged Daddy (John Brumpton) kidnaps Brent and brings him home to Lola who, along with her father's help, stages her own unique formal...one involving fried chicken and power tools.

While it may be a little derivative and not overly original (at least to the seasoned horror fan), Bryne's film is strikingly well made and provides a significant adrenaline shot to the heart for Australian horror cinema at a time when its waters have been running dry for more than a few years. From the outlook the story appears pretty straightforward, however, as it develops its initial simplicity is carefully peppered with finely-drawn subtleties and specific character motivations, all of which play their part in pulling the movie together as a wholly connected drama that rises above its seemingly exploitative scenario. When the films' more visceral moments do occur they are expectedly nasty but thankfully never hokey, Byrne instead choosing to present violence as an act that carries painful consequences; something sorely missing in contemporary cinematic depictions of physical mutilation. The confidence to confront its audience on a primal level and intrigue them simultaneously is one of the movie's strongest aspects and is consistently reiterated throughout.

As many fans will notice, The Loved Ones is not only a homage to the likes of Jackson, McNaughton and Hooper but could also be considered the horror film's answer to a John Hughes movie. Every character depicted in the film and the environment they inhabit is drawn from a completely plausible reality and makes the brutality and madness on display all the more heartbreaking to watch, especially as the majority of those being tormented are small town adolescents dealing with the pressures associated with broken family life, awkward high school politics and the inherent disconnect with authority figures. Having grown up in country Australia myself and experienced more than my fair share of insecurities and tribulations during my younger years, the rural setting and tangible state of loneliness best by the movie really hit home for me and evoked a deeper level of emotional investment I rarely undergo during a horror movie...and for that I give the excellent performances by the cast and Byrne's deft direction full credit.

There is so much more I could say about The Loved Ones but I'd rather not risk giving too much else away for those of you who've yet to see it. After all, my whole motive behind this rant is precisely that: to tell you that you must see this movie and you must see it now. If you're a horror fan I guarantee you'll at least respect its intentions if not its entirety.

And for God's sake see it in a cinema. Downloading is for the weak and putrid at heart.

For more information about the film visit the official website.

Carpenter Crosses a 'Darkchylde'

2010-10-31T23:36:00.005+11:00

Evening, cretins!

Some pretty awesome breaking news for John Carpenter fans hit the web tonight! That's right, the newly-inspired master of horror is already working on his next project (The Ward is still doing its festival run) and let me tell ya, it's a pretty interesting choice for the beloved genre veteran.

Carpenter and wife Sandy King have teamed up with Darkchylde Ent to bring fans an adaptation of Darkchylde, a popular comic book series by Randy Queen about a good-hearted southern teenage girl cursed to become the creatures featured in many of her recurring nightmares. Every time Ariel Chylde transforms, she sheds her skin and a new nightmare emerges from her with the intention of acting out her deepest, darkest impulses. Read more about the comic HERE.

Perhaps even more interesting is that the Academy Award winning team at New Zealand's own Weta Workshop (The Lord of the Rings, Avatar, etc) will be producing the films' extensive visual effects. This is quite a pairing of talents indeed and is sure to ignite a flurry of discussion amongst genre fans in the weeks to come. In fact, Weta has already begun working on potential designs and concept art for the film, as evidenced below in this test footage:

Potentially, this movie could be all kinds of badass and would definitely mark new ground for Carpenter, at least from a conceptual standpoint. The comic undoubtedly incorporates many of the director's stock themes and ideas, however, within the context of a surreal fantasy and an otherworldly environment. It will be interesting to see the films' development process and how it evolves, assuming the marketing machine kicks in in due time. Until then, this is what we've got!

Welcome back to the movie biz, JC. I've missed you.

Battle of the Bloody Arts #4

2010-10-31T13:00:00.014+11:00

Dracula (aka Horror of Dracula) (1958)
Dir: Terence Fisher
Italian one-sheet

Cinema's most famous bloodsucker, Dracula, has taken the silver screen by storm in many different films and through many different forms. Despite the publication of Bram Stokers novel in 1897, England's own Hammer Studios were arguably the pioneers in bringing the infamous fanged creature into mainstream popular culture some sixty years later with their onslaught of Christoper Lee and Peter Cushing-driven shockers. This magnificent poster from the 1958 vehicle is a near perfect embodiment of both pure pulp artwork and straight-up Gothic horror and would serve as a basic template for almost every subsequent Hammer one-sheet and day bill released thereafter. One of the key contributors to this poster's success is the gorgeous paint work - a lost practice in today's movie marketing realm of Photoshop nightmares - and the richness of color and contrast provided by every visible stroke. The overpowering image of Lee's Dracula looming over a screaming Mina provides a classic example of monster tormenting damsel and is strikingly exemplified by the splintered tree branches reaching out into the darkness, resembling in many ways the visage of cracked glass. The trembling blood red title text Dracula Il Vampiro (as per the Italian release) is bold, punchy and immediate and further drums home the arresting imagery evidenced above. Sadly, promotional ploys as beautifully composed as these rarely come along anymore in contemporary horror, especially within the dominion of blood-leeching monster mashes.

Dracula 3000 (2004)
Dir: Darrell Roodt
US DVD box art

Part of me finds it insurmountably difficult to write about things that I consider to be bad, even if the reasons why are clearly obvious and easy to identify. Consequently, atrocious poster art is something I struggle with more than anything...and this brings me to the 'artwork' for the glorious motion picture that is Dracula 3000. Baring no connection to Patrick Lussier's equally underwhelming Dracula 2000, the cover art for this direct-to-DVD reject features some of the most inept imagery I've yet to see hit the rental shelves and, in true forsaken movie style, has very little to do with the film itself. As I'm sure you can all see, the sole point of focus here is the ridiculous fanged robo-vamp (who would have thought technology and the undead would come together in such a way?) entombed by a wall of metal cables and non-descript chrome fixtures, the design of which makes the cover appear more as if it were an advertisement for a lame video game rather than a five star horror movie staring Casper Van Dien (just kidding). But seriously, the Photoshop composition is awful, the illustration is laughably cartoonish and the tag line is beyond insulting, making this one of the worst campaigns for a vampire movie in recent memory. And what's more, someone got paid to design it.

It really is a cruel world.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, CRETINS!

2010-10-31T11:55:00.003+11:00

Drawing by Sam Bowron, 1999

Short Review: 'After.Life' (2010)

2010-10-29T03:43:00.005+11:00

What happens to us when we die? A question posed for centuries but forever left unanswered, one can only assume the intended destination of the body and soul when one’s life reaches its expiry date, much less our fate at the hands of a certified mortician. Whether we choose to accept it or not, the human vessel is arguably just flesh and bone; a wholly destructible entity vulnerable to the volatile forces of both Mother Nature and man-made invention, neither of which we have absolute control over. In a noble attempt to commiserate over such universal thoughts, Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo’s directorial debut After.Life assesses the existential quandaries of man’s existence and lays them out on the slab – literally – however, to mixed dramatic results.

After a horrific car accident, Anna (Christina Ricci) wakes up to find funeral director Eliot Deacon (Liam Neeson) preparing her body for burial. Confused and terrified, Anna doesn't believe she's dead, despite Eliot’s reassurances that she is merely in transition toward the afterlife. In a candid confession, the solemn mortician reveals he has the ability to communicate with the dead and that she has no choice but to move through her denial and accept her fate as one the deceased. More than a tad suspicious of Elliot, Anna’s grief-ridden boyfriend Paul (Justin Long) begins searching for the truth behind the illusive undertaker’s practices and uncovers a secret more disturbing than he cold have ever thought possible...

From the outset of its introverted sex scene between dwindling young couple Anna and Paul and the awkward conversation that follows, the emotional state of mind induced by this forever-reflective horror drama makes itself acutely known to the audience and (for the most part) doesn’t pretend to sugarcoat it. Screenwriters Jakub Korolczuk and Paul and Agnieszka Vosloo manage to craft a relatively effective series of musings about life and death, mortality and immortality and do a good job of keeping the dialogue believable without being overly pretentious or smug in intent. The movie also works well as a minor expose’ on the arguably bizarre rituals of American funeral processes, the traditions of which are designed supposedly to offer a sense of closure and reconciliation with the dead for those grieving but in many ways come across as grossly sanitized and unnecessarily habitual. After.Life’s melancholy disposition is undoubtedly well implemented and provides the movie with its much needed glumness.

Where the film fails, however, is in its feeble attempts at surrealistic horror and the misguided presumption of the material being highly compatible with a wider audience, specifically those with attention spans no longer than five minutes. For example, director Vosloo stages a number of rather contrived nightmare sequences from Anna’s point of view that permeate her state of denial, one of which involves her being yanked though a doorway into Hell (or pergatory..?) and spoken down to by a younger version of herself in awful decomposed makeup. Another showcases a twisted faux funeral ritual where Anna is enveloped by tree vines and pulled down into the earth as horribly rendered CGI maggots erupt from her mouth, an army of cloaked old women chanting in a circle around her. Flimsy moments such as these and an enforced chase scene or two only cheapen the movie’s otherwise highly sincere temperament and simply don’t gel in context with the rest of the story structure.

Inherently debatable and highly philosophical in nature, After.Life may at first appear a tad pompous but its ideas are well rounded and executed with enough confidence and conviction that it feels moderately accomplished, if not slightly inconsistent. Christina Ricci must also be commended for her brave performance, one that requires her to be fully naked for almost two thirds of her included screen time. Genre fans may find this prospect appealing but be warned, fellow nerds: she’s also dead for most of the movie.

Dir: Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo
Writer: Jakub Korolczuk, Paul Vosloo & Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo
Cast: Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long, Chandler Canterbury
Country: USA
Run Time: 104mins
Rating: R18+

Short Review: 'Thirst' (2009)

2010-10-25T23:54:00.003+11:00

One of Korea’s few genre filmmakers, Park Chan-wook has garnered a feverent worldwide cult following since the release of his aptly titled ‘revenge trilogy’, consisting of the stunning Sympathy for Mr Vengeance, Oldboy and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance. A unique talent in his own right, Wook is comparable to the distinctive likes of the Coen Brothers: highly in tune with the importance of story structure and character development while also daring enough to bend audience expectations in both areas. While previously having only dabbled in the avenues of fright fare with his gnarly segment of Three Extremes, the heartfelt nightmare that is Thirst marks the maestro’s first real attempt at a fully fleshed-out horror story - a vampire tale with a definite difference.

Feeling the need to do more than facilitate the regular confession, dedicated priest Sang-hyeon (Kang-ho Song) volunteers himself with a research team investigating a deadly virus that infects only Caucasian and Asian peoples. After contracting the fatal disease he soon dies, only to be brought miraculously back to life by way of a blood transfusion and subsequently considered a ‘saint’ by local worshipers. After agreeing to help the sick brother of abused high school girl Tae-ju (Ok-bin Kim), Sang-hyeon and the young woman plot together a scheme to rid her of her wretched husband, only to have their plans suddenly disrupted when they discover the blood used in the priest’s rescue was from that of a vampire, resulting in a now-insatiable bloodlust. Can the couple continue their forbidden affair knowing all too well the price paid by one of them being a creature of the night?

Thirst is undoubtedly a fine movie. All the elements that make Wook’s style so idiosyncratic and personal are present: the honesty with which the characters are drawn, the immaculate attention to detail, gloriously bizarre visuals, etc. However, while the director’s stamp is firmly embedded throughout the majority of the film there does exist a certain feeling of detachment and remoteness with regard to the development of the story and its over-complicated plotting that keeps the movie at a frustratingly unfriendly distance. For example, there is an uneven attempt at humor involving a vengeful spirit that raises more head scratches than laughs and some inconsequential characters that deserve far better pay-offs than they end up getting. More importantly, the film is unnecessarily long (clocking in at just over 130 minutes) and when the story delves into its more over-the-top moments of elaborate fantasy the sincerity of the drama is often nullified, thus taking you out of the movie and occasionally lost in translation. The insanity of Wook’s absurdist comedy sensibilities is generally spot-on in his other films but here it simply feels out of place.

With that said, the tremendous performances by both Kang-ho Song and Ok-bin Kim in no way go unnoticed. Bold, daring and often times fanatically enthusiastic, Thirst’s zealous onscreen couple create an unbridled sense of affection; sometimes passionate, sometimes dangerous but always interesting to watch from an audience point of view and far from what one would normally be treated to in a romantically driven bloodsucker story. If the movie deserves any true accolades it would undoubtedly be for its leading lovers.

An inimitably contemporary tale of vampirism told from the perspective of one of today’s most atypical visionaries, Thirst may indeed have its failings yet it remains a visually striking, conceptually intriguing tale of the macabre that both horror aficionados and Asian cinema fans looking for something a little different should seriously consider devoting their time to. Thankfully, for every Twilight-inspired violation of the vampire myth there still exists a mini gem in the form of films such as these.

Dir: Chan-wook Park
Writer: Seo-Gyeong Jeong & Chan-wook Park
Cast: Kang-ho Song, Ok-bin Kim, Hae-sook Kim, In-hwan Park
Country: South Korea
Run Time: 133mins
Rating: MA15+

Battle of the Bloody Arts #3

2010-10-22T12:40:00.035+11:00

The Last Exorcism (2010)
Dir: Daniel Stamm
US one-sheet

This Eli Roth-produced shocker released last August in the U.S (set to be unleashed here locally on November 25th) was treated to some of the best marketing exposure ever to come out of Lions Gate since the original Saw. Aside from the cheeky viral campaigns on YouTube (http://tinyurl.com/2wyja8u) the poster material devised by their art department is both unnerving and macabre in the best sense, embracing the entirety of Satan's swordplay (or is it?) through no-bullshit aesthetics. One of the biggest keys to this poster's success is its simplicity and how the effective use of minimalism is often the best way to solidify a lasting audience impression before one even enters the cinema. The above design is ultimately made up of two distinct visual elements: Nell's contorted body and a hanging crucifix, both of which are positioned carefully in line with one another to suggest an unholy confliction between good and evil and a struggle toward the powers that be. The overall monochromatic palette combined with its high contrast levels, evident grain specs and smudgy veneer help lend the image a gritty, granular composition that immediately defines the movie's intentions of baroque storytelling. A sharp font selection for the title and the chilling words 'Believe In Him' as the tag line (which could be interpreted in more ways that one) round out the poster's otherwise sparing layout - a wise decision given the complexity of the movie's psychological implications and debatable subtext. An overwhelming sense of innocence violated is communicated through the design of this poster and, despite not having seen it yet, I feel it represents the film's intended promise almost flawlessly.

The Unborn (2009)
Dir: David S. Goyer
US one-sheet

Talk about a stark contrast. Regardless if you thought The Unborn sucked or not I think all horror fans would have to agree that this particular poster (or its international twin http://tinyurl.com/328c32r) did the movie no favors as far as box office sales were concerned. In fact, it probably gave off the impression it was a lost promotional still from the press kit of Ghostbusters II or another lame Goosebumps episode. The lazy use an enlarged production image - in this case practically the equivalent of a screen grab - and employing it here as the central point of focus is nonsensical at best, not to mention the emphasis on Odette Yustman's suggestively gooey wet t-shirt. As a result the cropped framing gives the poster no sense of composition at all, in fact it only serves as a flat backdrop for undemanding text and the obligatory cast and crew credit listing. Being that this is the ONLY significant design element on show for a movie promoting itself as a demonic possession tale, it begs the question whether or not the artists behind this image had even been previewed a trailer prior to them submitting their final work. And don't even get me started on the idiotic tag line...

Short Review: 'Triangle' (2009)

2010-10-22T02:57:00.007+11:00

To really enjoy a so-called ‘mind-fuck’ movie, one must relinquish a certain degree of logic and common judgment from their brain before even contemplating a viewing. While frustrating for many, most cinemagoers tend to relish this breed of toyfull narrative play and often spend hours tenaciously debating the intricacies of every conceivable character coil and systematic symbol on screen, some might say to the point of absurdity. While not quite in the same league as movies like Jacob’s Ladder, Requiem for a Dream or Memento, Christopher Smith’s third genre offering, Triangle, is admittedly still a meticulously (if somewhat predictably) constructed web of intrigue that only occasionally suffers from the headache of its own cerebral webbing.

The struggling mother of an autistic son, Jess (Melissa George) is invited by her friend Greg (Michael Dorman) on a weekend yacht cruise with a group of friends across the seas of the Atlantic Ocean in an effort to help get her mind off things. During the sail a vicious storm appears out of nowhere and capsizes the relatively small vessel, leaving them stranded and without help until an enormous cruise ship suddenly appears from behind the fog and allows them to board. All is not as it seems, however, when the group fail to locate any passengers or crew and eventually one-by-one they start disappearing, the evidence of which somehow implicating Jess as the cause of all the calamity…and then some.

At the risk of saying too much, director Smith may have shot himself in the creative foot by choosing to title this film Triangle. While it may start out as a simple terror-on-the-high-seas thriller with a few psychological undertones, the movie’s motis operandi quickly becomes apparent by the end of the first act (if not earlier) and consequently sends the story in an admittedly predictable direction, only occasionally deferring one’s attention from the inevitable final revelation that awaits its ill fated protagonist. Strangely enough though, the build up to the largely foreseeable conclusion is so meticulously constructed and executed by Smith and co. that you still find yourself happily surrendering over all willpower to the movie’s twist-a-minute aesthetic and Hitchcockian suspense tropes, even if you’ve seen them all countless times before. This compulsive watchability is due in no small part to Triangle’s air-tight screenplay and painstaking attention to detail with regard to every conceivable plot point illustrated throughout its sharp ninety nine minute running time.

Being a film that prides its narrative focus on the mysteries unbound within the human mind, Triangle is also never overly concerned with building a repertoire of particularly interesting characters, nor is it preoccupied with providing a precise reasoning behind the events that unfold before you. What it is concerned with, however, is the implementation of reoccurring motifs, visual cues and a highly specific story structure that (in more ways than one) help aid the movie in its sneaky attempts to keep the audience consistently off-guard and out of the loop. With this in mind it is safe to assume that while relatively resolute in its logical transparency there is also a certain degree of ambiguity inherent with regard to the exact origin of the puzzle being played out and how it could have occurred in the first place. But after all, that’s where the fun comes into play!

Despite its familiarity, Triangle is arguably Christopher Smith’s most accomplished horror venture thus far, boasting an impressive confidence and control over the medium rarely evidenced in contemporary genre efforts. Leading lady George delivers the paranoid goods in a solid central performance, as does her male counterpart Dorman and the rest of the hapless party bunch. It’s also just a good old-fashioned thriller that has no problem in keeping you gripped from the first frame right up until the bloody termination of its final seaside traveler. Bon Voyage, indeed.

Dir: Christopher Smith
Writer: Christopher Smith
Cast: Melissa George, Michael Dorman, Joshua McIvor, Jack Taylor
Country: UK/Australia
Run Time: 99mins
Rating: MA15+

Discussing 'Insidious' Things

2010-10-18T16:04:00.007+11:00

Afternoon, cretins!

Former Melbourne filmmaking duo James Wan and Leigh Whannell recently premiered their latest horror offering, Insidious, at the 2010 Toronto International Film Festival as part of program's famed Midnight Maddness section. So far having received generally positive reviews from TIFF attendees, the supernatural shocker concerns a comatose young boy whose consciousness has become a conduit for malevolent spirits intent on terrorizing stars Rose Byrne, Patrick Wilson and Barbara Hershey.

Whannell, who also wrote and co-starred in the film, recently gave an interview for Bloody Disgusting readers after its debut screening last September. In the lengthy conversation, Whannell provides some great insight into his creative process with director Wan and displays a keen interest in what he believes makes a good horror movie.

CLICK HERE to read the exclusive interview.

Insidious currently has no theatrical release date scheduled.

The Thing about 'The Thing'

2010-10-18T12:22:00.002+11:00

Afternoon, cretins!

The hype is certainly heating up (or cooling down, rather) around the marketing machine for Universal's upcoming prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing, now retitled to simply The Thing (?). The Matthijs van Heijningen Jr helmed pic is currently in the depths production in Toronto, Canada and will tell the story of paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) who has traveled to a remote area of the Antarctic to join a Norwegian scientific team in their investigation of an extraterrestrial spacecraft found nearby in the ice. After a simple experiment frees a dormant life form embedded within the crystallized ship, Kate and crew pilot Carter (Joel Edgerton) fight to keep the mimicking beast from killing the team off one-by-one and escaping the camp altogether.

Whether you like it or not this long-rumored prequel is now a reality and scheduled to hit our screens in late April of next year. The 1982 film was one of the first movies I ever saw as a youth and, in my view, showed me just how cool movies could be. Like anything I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt but the cloud of suspicion looming over my head is admittedly heavy and saturated..

Featured below are a few official production stills from the film showcasing Winstead and Edgerton in action.

The Thing is slated for release April 29th, 2011.

Images courtesy of Bloody Disgusting.