Samityville's Best Films of 2009!

Evening cretans!

Well, another year has come and gone faster than you can say "Twihard!". On the genre scene 2009 followed previous years' habits by being a year heavy on remakes, sequels and other such franchise money munchers. It would also be the year 3D would prove itself to the major studios, finally capturing the ever-bulging wallets of Pixar, Paramount and New Line among others, eliciting executives to dish out more production dollars into the now immensely popular screen format. The foreign market would also play a part in releasing some of the most astonishing horror output in years as well as the occasional sensation originating from America's home turf. The good, the bad and the ugly...2009 had a little of everything in bloody spades.

But what exactly was worth watching? Or avoiding for that matter? Compiled here is the first half of a two-part installment: Samityville's Best & Worst Films of 2009.

Let's start with the gems!



10. Last House on the Left (remake)



Believe it or not but this was one remake actually worthy of serious attention...but hardly anyone saw it! When word first emerged online fans of Wes Craven's original largely condemned the very thought of giving the notorious 1972 nasty the remake treatment. However, what resulted is a surprisingly intelligent, confronting and highly effective expansion on the themes explored in the original, albeit with a ridiculous final scene that reeks of studio interference. And while Garret Dillahunt may not be as imposing a Krug as David Hess' creation, this version remains as brutal and uncompromising as its predecessor and a great example of how to use character motivation to fuel violence, whether justified or otherwise.

9. Zombieland



Not since the release of Edgar Wright's fan favorite Shaun of the Dead has there been a horror comedy possessive of the same charm, witt and sheer delight anywhere in theaters or on DVD. That is until Ruben Fleischer gave us this wonderfully energetic zombie romp, fully of terrific performances, great action, references galore ("Bill-fuckin-Murray!") and jokes that actually are funny. Seeing this in a theater with a huge crowd is definitely the way to go, especially with Metallica's 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' playing over the opening credits!

8. Splinter



Starved we have been of old-school siege flicks, until Toby Wilkins sneaked in this neat little creatre feature into the festival circuit and then onto DVD. It's knowingness and respect for the simplicity of films like The Thing, Tremors and others fused with a genuinely unique monster all its own made this independent debut a great attention grabber and Wilkins a talent to watch.

7. Drag Me to Hell



Raimi returns! Or so said the tongues of most fans upon the successful reception of this his first horror film in 15 years. The imagination and tongue-in-cheek sensibilities of the director's Evil Dead days ran rife in this highly entertaining horror/comedy that showed both a maturity in Raimi's filmmaking as well as a return to familiar styles of the outrageous and the absurd. While nothing wholly original or groundbreaking, the film is a total blast from start to finish and showcases an excellent lead performance by Alison Lohman as well as that of her onscreen nemesis Lorna Raver. Old-school fun indeed.

6. Pontypool



Bruce Macdonald's highly anticipated zombie-esque talk-a-thon was a real treat for those who managed to catch it in theaters amid its festival run. With one of the year's best lead performances courtesy of Stephen McHattie, the film is both unnerving and hilarious in equal doses and a delightfully unusual trip, almost to the point of being unclassifiable in its complexity. I'd recommend this guaranteed cult oddity to almost anyone, so long as you have a strong patience and appreciation for 'the word'.

5. REC



With handycam-verite' style horror flicks being produced to the point of insanity (The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity, etc) it's become somewhat hard to sift through the good and the bad, as many seem to use the medium as merely an attempt to be 'arty'. But when the method is used as a legitimate means to enhance the storytelling and not simply a political statement the results can be undeniably effective, as they were here in the Spanish production that preceeded the inevitable Hollywood revisioning just months later. Unrelenting in its pace and immediacy, this is one tale of 'reality captured' that truly hit a nerve and managed to make its virus outbreak conceit frighteningly believable as a result.

4. Let the Right One In



There was a lot of hype surrounding this Swedish vampire pic but thankfully it paid off. Ultimately, this stands as one of the most emotionally resonant vampire movies ever made and actually had you feeling both a genuine affection and overwhelming sadness for its two lead child actors - a rare combination indeed. Easily more thought-provoking, mesmerizing, and visually beautiful than any fanged feature of the last 10 years, this is an excellent movie based on an excellent novel by Swedish author John Lindvist. My only hope is that the 2010 remake doesn't simply trade the emotion for evisceration.

3. Trick 'r Treat



Stranded in distribution hell for longer than anyone can really now gauge, this terrifically off-beat little ode to O'l Hallow's Eve may just challenge John Carpenter's classic as the definitive Halloween-themed film. Sharply editing its multiple story narrative of Creepshow-esque tales into a brisk and energetic package, this really is one horror flick that truly got fucked over by its studio. I implore Warner to learn from its mistakes and to never in the future unjustly reject the audience potential of a film as good as this. Although Mike Dougherty need not worry, for genre fans the world over who have now seen this under-appreciated masterpiece are already calling it a cult favorite.

2. Antichrist



A sledgehammer to the senses. A hauntingly beautiful tragedy. A disturbing psycho-sexual drama. All these things and more can be said about Lars von Trier's 2009 journey into the heart of darkness, but one thing is certain: it CANNOT be ignored. Antichrist challenges your beliefs, emotions and thresholds to the extreme, presenting its audience with a depiction humanity at its best/worst, never sugarcoating the results for a second. The film's symbolism is arguably the heart of its existence and the talented Dutchman makes sure you remember that for days - even weeks afterward. If you don't like what he has to say or show, don't watch it. But for those brave enough to embrace the film and its twisted genius, it's a rewarding one to be sure.

1. Martyrs



The French flay us again. On the surface it may first appear a crimson bathtub so deep your entire body could submerge without assistance but after 80 minutes of almost non-stop torture and degradation of human life, the final revelation so disturbingly conveyed in the climax makes all the hell that preceded it abundantly clear and justified. Whether you can stick with it long enough to absorb the method to its madness, Pascale Laugier's deeply philosophical - almost existential - horror movie is far more than meets the eye and worth the hefty price of on-screen pain it lashes out from start to finish. Performances, visuals and atmosphere are no doubt all striking but it's the core idea being communicated here that makes it so unforgettable and immediately a standout for 2009 horror.

What say you, cretans?