Feaure Length Review: 'Buried Alive' (2007)

Robert Kurtzman (the ‘K’ in KNB FX) is no stranger to horror movies. He co-founded one of the most talented and in-demand special effects companies in Hollywood, having now been credited with working on over 400 features for both film and television as well as having started his own visual effects company - Precinct 13 - in the process. Like many other effects gurus, Kurtzman had long possessed a passion to one day jump in the director’s chair and helm a fright feature of his own. Although he has now directed five genre flicks and has more currently in development, Kurtzman has never quite managed to deliver a fully accomplished, engaging horror story and the hopelessly lacklustre Buried Alive is but yet another notch on his frustratingly below-average directorial resume’.



THE LOWDOWN: College student Zane (Terrance Jay) and his cousin Rene (Leah Rachel) decide to take a weekend trip to their family’s old ranch house in the desert. While Rene brings along two young sorority pledges Laura (Erin Reese) and Juile (Lindsey Scott) who are in the midst of their initiation, Zane’s plans are to uncover – with the help of computer nerd Phil (Germaine De Leon) - a supposed gravesite of hidden treasure left behind at the house by his ancestors. The homestead’s redneck caretaker Lester (the great Tobin Bell) unsuccessfully tries to warn the young potheads of the danger surrounding the area and the family’s dark history, whilst secretly attempting to unearth the fortune himself. But as the sun soon sets and skin is exposed…yeah, you can pretty much figure out the rest…



THE TERROR TALE & ITS TIMING: Even in its first 20 minutes of screen time, one has immediately got to wonder how such painfully predictable and formulaic scripts like Buried Alive manage to attract the talent of filmmakers like Kurtzman, much less get financed in the first place. From its misleading opening right through to its unsatisfying conclusion, the movie is an endless slug of slasher cliché’s and tiresome conventions, all of which could have been nostalgic and enjoyable but instead are simply treated as standard rehearsal procedure. Granted, it’s pretty difficult these days to come up with a memorable stalker flick when the genre is so well-worn but it also never hurts a filmmaker to at least strive for some degree of originality and creativity in this the most lucrative of subgenres. The film’s story, characters, set pieces – even the kills – are so standard in nature that it’s hard to ever care about any of the events that take place on screen. To make matters worse, at least two thirds of the running time is spent attempting to give the audience the chance to feel some kind of sympathy for the films’ flimsy characters before they are inevitability knocked off - a serious misstep that only ends up further highlighting the uneventful proceedings that lie ahead. As you can probably guess by now, the real killer here is Art Monterastelli’s monotonous screenplay, one that could have benefitted from some serious tightening up and a far more affectionate approach to its characters and convoluted backstory.



The thing that makes Buried Alive such a difficult movie to stay interested in is its general sense of de rigueur. Instead of allowing the action to play out more fluently so it seems less ‘scripted’ almost every scene comes across feeling forced and unnatural, as if written and directed on auto-pilot. Moreover, the film is filled with many head scratching moments – there’s the most convenient seduction scene between two characters you’re ever likely to see, one co-ed is somehow tattooed with symbols that end up being the key to her salvation, another is killed off outside in broad daylight and no one discovers his corpse until the pitch black of night, etc, etc. These and many other baffling tidbits only add to the aggravation experienced when watching the film, especially when one knows Kurtzman is capable of so much more than this.



DOOMED CHARCTERS: Ah yes, the characters. Hang on…what characters? Performance-wise, Buried Alive’s cast of youthful players do exactly the kind of justice their deeply uninteresting roles require of them; a group of clumsy cunnilingers who bitch, whine and abuse their way throughout the movie, never once uttering an intelligent sentence or making an informed decision in the face of death. But are these really the kind of people one would like to spend 90 minutes with? The handsome jock, the stuck-up girlfriend, the bimbo airhead, the snivelling nerd…it’s as if they’re all pre-packaged and primed for expectation, never once straying from the traits they each exhibit from the film's first frame. With not a single likeable character to speak of (with perhaps of the exception of Tobin Bell’s gleefully hammy messenger of doom), how can we possibly give a shit when any one of them is turned into mincemeat at the hands of a crusty old vengeful housewife? Speaking of killer housewives, the raggedy old hag is a woefully underwhelming villain and could not be any less threatening if her false teeth fell out. Oh, and did I mention how irritating it is when a character feels the need to scream out the title of the movie during a scene?



THE LOOK OF FEAR: Unlike its script, Buried Alive is at least technically proficient. Well, for the most part anyway. From a production value standpoint the film is always slick and polished and Kurtzman definitely knows how to use the widescreen format to make his cast look pretty. But when it comes to the grue, one has to wonder why it takes a whole 40 minutes for the first drop of blood to be shed and then another 30 minutes after that for the next? At its core, this is a slasher movie: plain and simple. By its very nature there should at least be a consistent death every 10-15 minutes but instead we’re forced to listen to the film’s painful characters yammer back and forth about pretentious sorority traditions and the “most uncomfortable places” they’ve ever screwed. Even more disappointing than the lack of suspense are the kills themselves, relying heavily on CGI renderings rather than traditional practical effects. The sanitised nature of the gore (particularly Danny’s death, which looks like a bad After Effects creation) does nothing to suspend viewer disbelief and elicits groans rather than gasps.



THE SOUND OF FRIGHT: Interestingly, Terrance Jay – the film’s lead protagonist – also scored Buried Alive - a rare credit indeed for an actor of his age, or any actor for that matter. It’s pretty standard stuff and only covers the conventional horror tropes of sonic menace but you gotta admire the guy for taking a stab (no pun intended) at more than one creative role in a film he’d already been cast to headline. The music is perhaps at its best during the finale when it really gets cooking at a tight pace, although not much can be said for the rest of the film’s duration as it tends to feel a little too much like a direct-to-video score…which the movie is. Whoops!



FINAL THOUGHTS: When watching Buried Alive, you can’t help but be reminded of the many far superior slasher flicks that preceded it almost three decades prior. The whole movie feels tired and tedious, not just for the viewer but also the actors on screen. If you’re like me and stubborn enough to stick around till the end in the hope things will get better, you’re definitely a devotee of the genre. What that says about you and me and our shared insistence for hiring out bad horror movies, I’m not entirely sure. All I know is that if Buried Alive were to be the first and last slasher film you ever see, you’d swear you’d watched a life times’ worth of these movies after just one viewing.

Dir: Robert Kurtzman
Writer: Art Monterastelli
Cast: Leah Rachel, Erin Reese, Tobin Bell
Country: USA
Run Time: 94min
Rated: MA+